Author Archives: Shenni

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why talk to someone

How to move on after a breakup

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How to move on after a breakup. It can be a very difficult thing to do, when all you want to do is get back together with your ex. You feel like you will never be happy again unless you are with them. You want to find a way to fix things and get back to how things were. Here are some steps to help you move forward after a breakup.

Talk about it.

Go over it with someone as many times as you need to before you are sick of repeating yourself. This means reaching out for help to talk to someone who has the skills to actually help you move past the challenging feelings and thoughts you are experiencing. We all know your friends will end up sick of hearing the same things over and over again but breakup-help won’t!

Try to stop playing the blame game.

There are plenty of things you could have done differently yes but that doesn’t mean it would have changed the final outcome. They were definitely not perfect either. No good comes from blaming yourself for everything and it is definitely not logical to do so.

Embrace your newfound freedom.

You were happy before them. You were yourself, you did great things, you had fun times, you were more than fine before them! Things will be fine again after them. Re-learn to love yourself. Re-build your relationship with yourself. Go to that class, meet with that friend and focus on the things that make you feel at peace.

Stop checking on them on social media.

You are only causing yourself more hurt. Delete, delete, delete and try not to do this! Want to know how? We can help.

If you are going through a breakup or feel like you are coming to the end of your relationship, get in touch with us for your first FREE telephone session.


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breakup

How to be happy after a breakup

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How to be happy after a breakup…..this is not an easy task! With the right help and guidance it is possible. Here are 3 tips to get you started.

Cry it out. Yes you might not want to leave your bed for a day and maybe you haven’t showered for 48 hours but if you need to wallow a little, do it! You are grieving the loss of someone. It is normal to go through this stage. Make sure you find a way eventually to push yourself to do things you know are healthy to do though.

Talk to someone. No, I don’t mean just your bestie who always tells you what you want to hear but doesn’t really know how to help you. Talk to a professional who can really guide you to get through the breakup process effectively.

Relearn to love yourself. Remember the person before the relationship! How were you spending your time? What made you feel good? What was your biggest obsession? Find things you enjoy and build your relationship with yourself again!

If you are going through a breakup, and are trying to find out how to be happy after a breakup, we can help you! Your first telephone session is FREE. Secure yours here today.


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breakup

How to get over someone

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How to get over someone, advice from a breakup help professional.

How to get over someone. . . . ending a relationship is never an easy thing to do and can be even harder if it wasn’t your choice. It’s important to be aware that although you feel like you will never be happy again or that it’s the end of your world- it isn’t and you will be happy again. You may just need some breakup help guidance and support to come out of the other side.

Here are some top tips to help you along the way:

1) find yourself again. You’ve probably been a ‘we’ instead of a ‘me’ whilst in the relationship. Now is the time to reconnect with yourself. Do the things that used to make you feel good. Spend time with friends and family, learn a new skill, travel somewhere new. Gain the self-awareness you have been missing and rebuild your relationship with you.

2) Ask for help. Talk to someone who knows how to help you. You will feel like no one will understand and that you will never be happy again without them. This is not logical! There are people who can help you to think more rationally and help you to move past what has happened in an effective way.

3) Allow yourself to be sad about it. You need to allow yourself time to cry if you need to, sleep all day if you must for a little while because you are experiencing a loss. You are grieving the end of something you have had for a while and have gotten used to. Let yourself feel what you are feeling and allow yourself some time to heal.

4) have hope that you will feel better. You may feel hopeless like nothing will help, but with the right guidance you can get past this and be happy again. Make sure to remind yourself you will be ok. Surround yourself with people who can remind you that this too shall pass and you will be ok again.

If you are going through a breakup,and want to know how to get over someone, reach out to us for your first FREE 20 minute telephone session here.


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what to do after a breakup

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,Uncategorised Tags : 

What to do after a breakup. . . . If you are going through a breakup, it’s normal to feel a range of emotions such as sadness, regret, anger and anxiety. You will not feel this way forever although you feel like you will. Here are some tips to help you along the process.

1) Talk to someone who can help you! Yes you should lean on your friends but sometimes you will feel like you are bringing the mood down or repeating yourself to them and they just don’t know what to do or say to help. speak to someone (like breakup-help) who won’t get tired of hearing how you feel and can give you genuine advice to help you move on.

2) allow yourself to feel sad. You may need to wallow in this for a few days- that’s ok! You are grieving a loss, the overwhelming sadness will pass but first let it exist.

3) get rid of memories or of any opportunity for you to check on them or any chance to stalk them on social media! you need to now focus on yourself. If this was going to work with them, it would have worked at the time. It is not on you to fix the entire relationship if they are not willingly reaching out to you.

4) find goals of your own and aim for those. Speak with long lost friends, reinvent yourself. Do the things you always wanted to do even if it’s just as a distraction to begin with.

5) don’t contact them especially if they were the ones to breakup with you. The ball is basically in their court and begging them probably won’t change things.

Are you going through a breakup? Book your first free 20 minute session now to get started on the journey towards being over your ex.


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breakup

How do I get over my ex?

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,Uncategorised Tags : 

How do I get over my ex? The question that brings people our way! It’s a big challenge for anybody to get over a breakup but with guidance and support it is definitely possible. If you feel like you can’t be happy without them and don’t know how to move froward with your life right now, reach out to us for a free 20 minute chat to get started! In the meantime, here are some useful tips to become aware of.

Top 5 tips:

1) Have some space from them and everything that is to do with them.

Being reminded of the ‘good times’ isn’t going to help you right now. Avoid your ex as much as you can because you will get over the breakup much sooner the less contact you allow yourself to have with them. This includes social media stalking them and checking their last seen on whatsapp!

2) say yes to all the things you are invited to do.

If your friends ask you to go with them to a jazzercise class – GO. Force yourself to be sociable with old friends and new. You need reminding that there is more to life than your ex.

3) Talk to someone about what you are going through.

If possible, speak with a professional or someone who can offer you legitimate guidance that has been proven to work. You need to be able to voice the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing without feeling like you are bringing down the mood in your friendship group or feeling like you are repeating yourself about things to your friends and family. We can help you here!

4) Allow yourself to be sad about what has happened.

If you need to cry in bed for a few hours or even a day or two, do that. Make sure you get up at some point and do functional things but allow yourself to sit with your feelings and wallow a little. This is ok. This is necessary for your healing.

5) Remind yourself of the things that made you unhappy in the relationship.

Take the rose tinted glasses off in you can because your mind is tricking you into thinking everything was your fault and they are perfect and you need to change to fix things! This is not necessarily accurate. Try not to blame yourself for what has happened. It is far more complicated than that.

Book your first free 20 minute chat with us now!


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free girl

Dealing with a breakup

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Dealing with a breakup and healing from it can take time. You need to give yourself a chance to grieve the loss and move on.

A breakup is often one of the most stressful and emotionally challenging times in our lives. Whatever the reason, it can be painful and difficult to move on. Even when you know a relationship is no longer good for you, you still need to grieve the loss of the dreams and commitments you had made as well as the person. When a relationship fails after you had high hopes for it, it can be a big disappointment.

A breakup launches you into the unknown. Your routine is disrupted, as well as your responsibilities, home and relationships with family and friends. You are now uncertain about your future- what will life be like without them?, Will you ever want to be with someone else again? Sometimes these unknowns can feel worse than being in a bad relationship.

Remind yourself often that you will be ok. You will get over this and you will be yourself again. Here are my top 5 tips for dealing with a breakup.

Top 5 tips for dealing with a breakup

  1. Don’t try to bottle up or deny your feelings. You need to embrace how you are feeling and not feel guilty for having them. If you feel sad, cry. If you need to stay in bed and wallow for a while, do it. You need to get through this stage by allowing yourself to feel what you feel and give yourself time to get past those feelings.
  2. Talk about what has happened. Talk about how you are feeling and the thoughts you are having. Often we get so caught up in our own thoughts, we forget that they may not be quite logical or realistic. Get guidance and support on how to move forward.
  3. Remind yourself that you will be ok again. Even if you don’t feel like it now. You will still have a future and you will get back to feeling yourself, no matter how hard that is to believe in the moment.
  4. Say yes to almost all invites. You might not feel like going out or hanging out with friends but you need to push through those feelings and get out and do things. This will remind you that you will be ok again.
  5. Meet new people. Get to know people, be reminded that there are others in the world who can make you laugh, smile, and feel good about yourself.


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bye

How to really get over your ex

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How to really get over your ex. It’s one of the hardest things we go through as human beings. It feels like you will never be happy again without them. It feels like you will never stop thinking about them and feeling sad. There are ways to help yourself get over a breakup, it takes strength and the ability to reach out for guidance.

Here are my top 5 tips to get over your ex:

1) Have a social media detox. Delete all the couple posts you have up and then delete the apps or deactivate them for a while. Doesn’t have to be forever but definitely until you are feeling more yourself.

2) Get rid of all signs of your ex. You are going to want to keep all photos and memoirs because you will have an unrealistic hope of fixing things or getting back together. The sooner you get rid of those photos and memories the better it will be for you. If you don’t have it in you to bin them, give them to a friend or sibling/family member to keep hold of until you are ready to get rid of it permanently.

3) Don’t contact them. Yes, you are going to want answers beyond what is possible to know. Reaching out to them will only delay the hurt. Make plans with friends instead and text your friends instead of you ex.

4) start dating again. This does not mean I condone a rebound! But allowing yourself to get noticed by others and meeting new people will remind you that your ex is not the only man in the world! This will also rebuild your confidence which will have been low after the breakup.

5) Talk about what has happened. Reach out for support and guidance to get over your ex. You need to be honest about your experience and your feelings and find ways to manage those better.

Are you going through a breakup? Book your first FREE chat here.


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Why do I miss my ex so much?

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Why do I miss my ex so much? A question I am asked very often by clients. You aren’t just missing that person, you are missing who you were while you were with them, who you were as a couple. You are feeling a loss because you put so much into your relationship and now it’s over.

How do I stop missing them?

How do I stop missing them? This is another question I often get. Here are my top 5 tips for how to do this.

1) try not to play the blame game. Whether that’s you blaming them, yourself, the situation this is just going to keep you in the cycle of missing them. Stop entertaining those thoughts about what you should have or could have done differently.

2) get rid of all reminders. You won’t want to do this at first because you will still have hope that you will make things better and get back together. Whether that’s getting rid of the photos of you both, buying new bedding, replacing the purse they bought you. These things are all necessary to stop you missing them.

3) Really try to stick to a no contact rule. Every time you communicate with them you are making yourself feel better in the short term but making it harder for yourself long-term.

4) Say yes to your friends and family when they invite you out. you might want to wallow all day and night and by all means do that for a little bit bit then say yes and go out! Do productive things. Do things that will rebuild your confidence.

5) talk to someone. Not just a friend or family member because they will just try to make you feel better but won’t really know what to say. Talk to someone who can help guide and support you through the breakup process.

If you are going through a breakup or are asking yourself ‘why do I miss my ex so much?’ , reach out for your first free telephone chat now!


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how to move on

How to move on from your ex

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How to move on from your ex – top tips.

Breakups are one of the worst experiences we can endure as humans. There is no denying this. Science says it is normal to feel so hurt and distraught like we do during the breakup process. Here are my top tips on how to move on from your ex.

1) Reflect on your breakup. Wallow in it for a while. The alternative is to bury it and not face up to what has happened. This can be detrimental in the long-run so make sure you spend time sitting with your feelings and thinking about what has happened.

2) say YES when your friends or family try to drag you out the house. You must force yourself to do these things as it will reduce stress in your body.

3) Remember the bad times too not just the good. Eventually you will realise you weren’t as happy as you thought you were and it weren’t as perfect as you are thinking it is during the denial phase.

4) Get to know knew people. this doesn’t mean you should meet with every person you match with on Tinder. But don’t avoid socialising and meeting new people forever. Your ex is not the only person in the world.

5) Talk to someone non-biased and who has good knowledge on how to help you. Reach out for help and get it all off your chest.

If you need help and guidance getting over your ex, book your first free chat with us now to get started.


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why

Why can’t I get over my ex?

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Why can’t I get over my ex? A question you keep coming back to. Well today we are going to tell you why it is so hard to move on.

Love is a form of addiction- it really is like a drug! You got used to having that person and the relationship in your life like a drug addict does with a substance. It does something to the brain (annoyingly) and means the withdrawal is a time of feeling out of character and desperate.

How to get over it

Rebuild your self-esteem. This isn’t all your fault because you weren’t good enough or should have done things differently. We can help with this.

Get out and about. Call your friends or family and meet with them for a coffee or a walk. Don’t get sucked into the hermit life of feeling sad and not leaving your bed all week.

Take time to sit with your feelings. No good bottling it up as this will cause more harm than good. Accept what you are feeling, talk about it and cry/wallow if you have to a little.

Balance out your thoughts. You are remembering your ex in a different light than who they were. They weren’t perfect and amazing and wonderful and you are not the reason it ended. Take off those rose tints and be real about who they were.

Still asking yourself- why can’t I get over my ex? If you need help getting over your ex, reach out now!