Author Archives: Shenni

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How do I get over my ex?

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,Uncategorised Tags : 

How do I get over my ex? The question that brings people our way! It’s a big challenge for anybody to get over a breakup but with guidance and support it is definitely possible. If you feel like you can’t be happy without them and don’t know how to move froward with your life right now, reach out to us for a free 20 minute chat to get started! In the meantime, here are some useful tips to become aware of.

Top 5 tips:

1) Have some space from them and everything that is to do with them. Being reminded of the ‘good times’ isn’t going to help you right now. Avoid your ex as much as you can because you will get over the breakup much sooner the less contact you allow yourself to have with them. This includes social media stalking them and checking their last seen on whatsapp!

2) say yes to all the things you are invited to do. If your friends ask you to go with them to a jazzercise class – GO. Force yourself to be sociable with old friends and new. You need reminding that there is more to life than your ex.

3) Talk to someone about what you are going through. If possible, speak with a professional or someone who can offer you legitimate guidance that has been proven to work. You need to be able to voice the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing without feeling like you are bringing down the mood in your friendship group or feeling like you are repeating yourself about things to your friends and family. We can help you here!

4) Allow yourself to be sad about what has happened. If you need to cry in bed for a few hours or even a day or two, do that. Make sure you get up at some point and do functional things but allow yourself to sit with your feelings and wallow a little. This is ok. This is necessary for your healing.

5) Remind yourself of the things that made you unhappy in the relationship. Take the rose tinted glasses off in you can because your mind is tricking you into thinking everything was your fault and they are perfect and you need to change to fix things! This is not necessarily accurate. Try not to blame yourself for what has happened. It is far more complicated than that.

Book your first free 20 minute chat with us now!


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free girl

Dealing with a breakup

Category:Uncategorised

Dealing with a breakup and healing from it can take time. You need to give yourself a chance to grieve the loss and move on.

A breakup is often one of the most stressful and emotionally challenging times in our lives. Whatever the reason, it can be painful and difficult to move on. Even when you know a relationship is no longer good for you, you still need to grieve the loss of the dreams and commitments you had made as well as the person. When a relationship fails after you had high hopes for it, it can be a big disappointment.

A breakup launches you into the unknown. Your routine is disrupted, as well as your responsibilities, home and relationships with family and friends. You are now uncertain about your future- what will life be like without them?, Will you ever want to be with someone else again? Sometimes these unknowns can feel worse than being in a bad relationship.

Remind yourself often that you will be ok. You will get over this and you will be yourself again. Here are my top 5 tips for dealing with a breakup.

Top 5 tips for dealing with a breakup

  1. Don’t try to bottle up or deny your feelings. You need to embrace how you are feeling and not feel guilty for having them. If you feel sad, cry. If you need to stay in bed and wallow for a while, do it. You need to get through this stage by allowing yourself to feel what you feel and give yourself time to get past those feelings.
  2. Talk about what has happened. Talk about how you are feeling and the thoughts you are having. Often we get so caught up in our own thoughts, we forget that they may not be quite logical or realistic. Get guidance and support on how to move forward.
  3. Remind yourself that you will be ok again. Even if you don’t feel like it now. You will still have a future and you will get back to feeling yourself, no matter how hard that is to believe in the moment.
  4. Say yes to almost all invites. You might not feel like going out or hanging out with friends but you need to push through those feelings and get out and do things. This will remind you that you will be ok again.
  5. Meet new people. Get to know people, be reminded that there are others in the world who can make you laugh, smile, and feel good about yourself.


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bye

How to really get over your ex

Category:Uncategorised

How to really get over your ex. It’s one of the hardest things we go through as human beings. It feels like you will never be happy again without them. It feels like you will never stop thinking about them and feeling sad. There are ways to help yourself get over a breakup, it takes strength and the ability to reach out for guidance.

Here are my top 5 tips to get over your ex:

1) Have a social media detox. Delete all the couple posts you have up and then delete the apps or deactivate them for a while. Doesn’t have to be forever but definitely until you are feeling more yourself.

2) Get rid of all signs of your ex. You are going to want to keep all photos and memoirs because you will have an unrealistic hope of fixing things or getting back together. The sooner you get rid of those photos and memories the better it will be for you. If you don’t have it in you to bin them, give them to a friend or sibling/family member to keep hold of until you are ready to get rid of it permanently.

3) Don’t contact them. Yes, you are going to want answers beyond what is possible to know. Reaching out to them will only delay the hurt. Make plans with friends instead and text your friends instead of you ex.

4) start dating again. This does not mean I condone a rebound! But allowing yourself to get noticed by others and meeting new people will remind you that your ex is not the only man in the world! This will also rebuild your confidence which will have been low after the breakup.

5) Talk about what has happened. Reach out for support and guidance to get over your ex. You need to be honest about your experience and your feelings and find ways to manage those better.

Are you going through a breakup? Book your first FREE chat here.


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Why do I miss my ex so much?

Category:Uncategorised Tags : 

Why do I miss my ex so much? A question I am asked very often by clients. You aren’t just missing that person, you are missing who you were while you were with them, who you were as a couple. You are feeling a loss because you put so much into your relationship and now it’s over.

How do I stop missing them?

How do I stop missing them? This is another question I often get. Here are my top 5 tips for how to do this.

1) try not to play the blame game. Whether that’s you blaming them, yourself, the situation this is just going to keep you in the cycle of missing them. Stop entertaining those thoughts about what you should have or could have done differently.

2) get rid of all reminders. You won’t want to do this at first because you will still have hope that you will make things better and get back together. Whether that’s getting rid of the photos of you both, buying new bedding, replacing the purse they bought you. These things are all necessary to stop you missing them.

3) Really try to stick to a no contact rule. Every time you communicate with them you are making yourself feel better in the short term but making it harder for yourself long-term.

4) Say yes to your friends and family when they invite you out. you might want to wallow all day and night and by all means do that for a little bit bit then say yes and go out! Do productive things. Do things that will rebuild your confidence.

5) talk to someone. Not just a friend or family member because they will just try to make you feel better but won’t really know what to say. Talk to someone who can help guide and support you through the breakup process.

If you are going through a breakup or are asking yourself ‘why do I miss my ex so much?’ , reach out for your first free telephone chat now!


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how to move on

How to move on from your ex

Category:Uncategorised

How to move on from your ex – top tips.

Breakups are one of the worst experiences we can endure as humans. There is no denying this. Science says it is normal to feel so hurt and distraught like we do during the breakup process. Here are my top tips on how to move on from your ex.

1) Reflect on your breakup. Wallow in it for a while. The alternative is to bury it and not face up to what has happened. This can be detrimental in the long-run so make sure you spend time sitting with your feelings and thinking about what has happened.

2) say YES when your friends or family try to drag you out the house. You must force yourself to do these things as it will reduce stress in your body.

3) Remember the bad times too not just the good. Eventually you will realise you weren’t as happy as you thought you were and it weren’t as perfect as you are thinking it is during the denial phase.

4) Get to know knew people. this doesn’t mean you should meet with every person you match with on Tinder. But don’t avoid socialising and meeting new people forever. Your ex is not the only person in the world.

5) Talk to someone non-biased and who has good knowledge on how to help you. Reach out for help and get it all off your chest.

If you need help and guidance getting over your ex, book your first free chat with us now to get started.


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why

Why can’t I get over my ex?

Category:Uncategorised

Why can’t I get over my ex? A question you keep coming back to. Well today we are going to tell you why it is so hard to move on.

Love is a form of addiction- it really is like a drug! You got used to having that person and the relationship in your life like a drug addict does with a substance. It does something to the brain (annoyingly) and means the withdrawal is a time of feeling out of character and desperate.

How to get over it

Rebuild your self-esteem. This isn’t all your fault because you weren’t good enough or should have done things differently. We can help with this.

Get out and about. Call your friends or family and meet with them for a coffee or a walk. Don’t get sucked into the hermit life of feeling sad and not leaving your bed all week.

Take time to sit with your feelings. No good bottling it up as this will cause more harm than good. Accept what you are feeling, talk about it and cry/wallow if you have to a little.

Balance out your thoughts. You are remembering your ex in a different light than who they were. They weren’t perfect and amazing and wonderful and you are not the reason it ended. Take off those rose tints and be real about who they were.

Still asking yourself- why can’t I get over my ex? If you need help getting over your ex, reach out now!


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Do you really want your ex back?

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,Uncategorised Tags : 

Breakups suck. We have well and truly established this. Especially if your one and only partner is the one to breakup with you and you don’t want it to happen. Well, you think you don’t want it to happen.

Denial– the first thing you experience. You want to fix it. Get things back to how they were. You think you can control what has happened and ‘change things’ or ‘be better’ to get them back.

This is a natural reaction, so don’t worry I’m not having a go at you! Just please ask yourself the following 5 questions before you declare with certainty that you want your ex back.

5 questions

1) Do you share the same values? The relationship really has no future if you don’t share the same values. This is not something you can just fix. Our values make us who we are and although at this stage you think you will change them if it means getting them back- this is a bad idea. You will lose yourself trying to find them again. Let us help you figure this out.

2) Are your issues resolvable? Face it- you broke up for a reason. A negative dynamic was formed along the way or you just found you weren’t right for each other. If the issues you had aren’t resolvable because you just can’t change who you or they are then it’s just not worth it.

3) Do you miss them or the idea of them? Really try to be honest about what you actually miss about them. Do you miss the person they were? How they treated you? Or do you just miss being in a relationship? Do you struggle to be alone? we can help you to understand if this is true for you.

4) Are you only remembering the good times? Are you idolising your ex? Do you keep thinking they are amazing and brilliant and it’s all your fault that it’s over? At the moment, your brain only wants to playback all of the good times and throw the rubbish times into the shadows. Be so aware of this. Look at the whole picture. We can help you with this.

5) Are you ok with the fact that they have left? This will be something you will have to be ok with if you ever got back together. At the moment you will say YES. But you will need to regain trust that they won’t abandon you at the first sign of an argument if you get back together again. They have hurt you by leaving and there is a reason they have left. Don’t lower your standards. You deserve to be with someone who actually wants to be with you without a doubt in their mind. let us help you build your confidence back up.

If you need help getting over your ex, contact us today for a free 20 minute telephone session to get started.


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woman in closet

Should you trust them?

Category:Uncategorised

Should you trust them?

Ex-posed US have given us some interesting topics to consider recently. One of which is the topic of whether or not to trust that man. Here is a wonderful article on behalf of Ex-posed US.

The Closet Test.

I have a very simple test that helps me determine if I trust a man: I decide whether or not I would be comfortable being locked in a closet with him. With some men, I would be completely comfortable being locked alone in a closet with them for hours. With others, I would not even enter the closet.

Earlier today I learned that a woman I know had recently caught her husband of over 20 years cheating. My immediate response was that despite knowing the guy for 25 years, I would definitely not want to be locked in a closet with him.

This made me think two things:

First, I believe that we, as women, just know. I believe that we have been graced with a sixth sense, and when we are “surprised” by terrible behavior it’s because we knew, but ignored or justified. I know that has definitely been true for me.

My second thought was a bit more humbling: What a terrible response. Instead of immediately thinking that the guy has always been a creep, I should have thought of the poor woman who is undoubtedly reeling right now. Shame on me. I don’t know why we do that. It reminds me of how we behave when we pass a traffic accident- we often jump to wondering what happened before wondering about the victims. I’ll try to do better.

This particular woman is pretty incredible, and I have no doubt that when this terrible situation becomes an unpleasant memory, she’ll be better off- no matter how she chooses to move forward.

I know, because I’ve been married to a man that nobody wanted to be locked in a closet with.

Find out more about ex-posed US here.

If you are struggling after betrayal or a breakup, speak to us today!


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why talk to someone

5 reasons why you need to speak to breakup-help

Category:Uncategorised

5 reasons why you need to speak to breakup-help. If you are reading this, chances are you are going through a breakup and probably need to talk to someone.

Ok it sounds a bit vain for me to say there are all these reasons why you should be talking to us but the reality is, you need support and guidance to get over something as upsetting as a breakup. Otherwise, you may well bring old relationship issues into your next one!

Here is my top 5 list of reasons why you need breakup-help guidance:

1. You need to grow through your breakup not just go through it. Learn about yourself, what you like, want and need from a relationship and build the relationship you have with yourself.

2. You need to dig deep and talk about the unsaid feelings and thoughts you have been having. this doesn’t just happen during a coffee catch up with your mates or a telephone call with your mum.

3. Learn what your limiting beliefs are and how to let go of them! Guys don’t only like skinny girls and girls don’t only want to marry men who are successful. Let’s look at all the beliefs you have subconsciously been living by and let go of these.

4. Rediscover who you are. Find yourself again – we can help you find your confidence again and rebuild your self-esteem.

5. Learn to set boundaries and standards in order to be truly happy when you find the person you are supposed to be with.

Book your first FREE 20 minute telephone session now.


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Do you have a story about an ex?

Category:Uncategorised

Do you have a story you want to share about an ex? Ex-posed.us have contacted breakup-help UK and shared some interesting insight around women speaking out about their stories after breakups. Do read the below snippet on behalf of ex-posed.us because it is something that may be of value to you!

She’s Crazy.

Women often face an especially insidious cycle when dealing with drama.

As the drama begins to brew, many of us speak up. We do our best to communicate our thoughts and feelings, and share our perspective on what is happening. Granted, sometimes we’re better at this than other times, but more often than not, we’re trying.

This often gets ignored.

As the drama continues to build and often picks up speed, our voice becomes a bit louder. I have found that most women raise the volume when sharing their thoughts, feelings and perspectives in an effort to be heard. Often times they are not. Or worse, they’re heard but ignored.

At some point, we snap.

Sometimes this cycle seems to take a matter of moments from start to finish. Other times it can build over a period of years.

But this isn’t even the worst part.

Once we snap, so often- far too often- we’re labeled as “crazy,” “unhinged,” or “unstable.” And if you’ve been labeled crazy, it takes very little justification to be ignored. We write off “crazy women” all the time. And when we do this, the focus shifts from the issue to the craziness and blame is placed squarely on her shoulders.

Do you have a story about an ex? Find out more on how to share yours here!

If you are struggling after a breakup, contact us today for a free 20 minute chat to get started on the journey towards recovery.