Author Archives: Shenni

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Do you really want your ex back?

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,Uncategorised Tags : 

Breakups suck. We have well and truly established this. Especially if your one and only partner is the one to breakup with you and you don’t want it to happen. Well, you think you don’t want it to happen.

Denial– the first thing you experience. You want to fix it. Get things back to how they were. You think you can control what has happened and ‘change things’ or ‘be better’ to get them back.

This is a natural reaction, so don’t worry I’m not having a go at you! Just please ask yourself the following 5 questions before you declare with certainty that you want your ex back.

5 questions

1) Do you share the same values? The relationship really has no future if you don’t share the same values. This is not something you can just fix. Our values make us who we are and although at this stage you think you will change them if it means getting them back- this is a bad idea. You will lose yourself trying to find them again. Let us help you figure this out.

2) Are your issues resolvable? Face it- you broke up for a reason. A negative dynamic was formed along the way or you just found you weren’t right for each other. If the issues you had aren’t resolvable because you just can’t change who you or they are then it’s just not worth it.

3) Do you miss them or the idea of them? Really try to be honest about what you actually miss about them. Do you miss the person they were? How they treated you? Or do you just miss being in a relationship? Do you struggle to be alone? we can help you to understand if this is true for you.

4) Are you only remembering the good times? Are you idolising your ex? Do you keep thinking they are amazing and brilliant and it’s all your fault that it’s over? At the moment, your brain only wants to playback all of the good times and throw the rubbish times into the shadows. Be so aware of this. Look at the whole picture. We can help you with this.

5) Are you ok with the fact that they have left? This will be something you will have to be ok with if you ever got back together. At the moment you will say YES. But you will need to regain trust that they won’t abandon you at the first sign of an argument if you get back together again. They have hurt you by leaving and there is a reason they have left. Don’t lower your standards. You deserve to be with someone who actually wants to be with you without a doubt in their mind. let us help you build your confidence back up.

If you need help getting over your ex, contact us today for a free 20 minute telephone session to get started.


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woman in closet

Should you trust them?

Category:Uncategorised

Should you trust them?

Ex-posed US have given us some interesting topics to consider recently. One of which is the topic of whether or not to trust that man. Here is a wonderful article on behalf of Ex-posed US.

The Closet Test.

I have a very simple test that helps me determine if I trust a man: I decide whether or not I would be comfortable being locked in a closet with him. With some men, I would be completely comfortable being locked alone in a closet with them for hours. With others, I would not even enter the closet.

Earlier today I learned that a woman I know had recently caught her husband of over 20 years cheating. My immediate response was that despite knowing the guy for 25 years, I would definitely not want to be locked in a closet with him.

This made me think two things:

First, I believe that we, as women, just know. I believe that we have been graced with a sixth sense, and when we are “surprised” by terrible behavior it’s because we knew, but ignored or justified. I know that has definitely been true for me.

My second thought was a bit more humbling: What a terrible response. Instead of immediately thinking that the guy has always been a creep, I should have thought of the poor woman who is undoubtedly reeling right now. Shame on me. I don’t know why we do that. It reminds me of how we behave when we pass a traffic accident- we often jump to wondering what happened before wondering about the victims. I’ll try to do better.

This particular woman is pretty incredible, and I have no doubt that when this terrible situation becomes an unpleasant memory, she’ll be better off- no matter how she chooses to move forward.

I know, because I’ve been married to a man that nobody wanted to be locked in a closet with.

Find out more about ex-posed US here.

If you are struggling after betrayal or a breakup, speak to us today!


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why talk to someone

5 reasons why you need to speak to breakup-help

Category:Uncategorised

5 reasons why you need to speak to breakup-help. If you are reading this, chances are you are going through a breakup and probably need to talk to someone.

Ok it sounds a bit vain for me to say there are all these reasons why you should be talking to us but the reality is, you need support and guidance to get over something as upsetting as a breakup. Otherwise, you may well bring old relationship issues into your next one!

Here is my top 5 list of reasons why you need breakup-help guidance:

1. You need to grow through your breakup not just go through it. Learn about yourself, what you like, want and need from a relationship and build the relationship you have with yourself.

2. You need to dig deep and talk about the unsaid feelings and thoughts you have been having. this doesn’t just happen during a coffee catch up with your mates or a telephone call with your mum.

3. Learn what your limiting beliefs are and how to let go of them! Guys don’t only like skinny girls and girls don’t only want to marry men who are successful. Let’s look at all the beliefs you have subconsciously been living by and let go of these.

4. Rediscover who you are. Find yourself again – we can help you find your confidence again and rebuild your self-esteem.

5. Learn to set boundaries and standards in order to be truly happy when you find the person you are supposed to be with.

Book your first FREE 20 minute telephone session now.


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Do you have a story about an ex?

Category:Uncategorised

Do you have a story you want to share about an ex? Ex-posed.us have contacted breakup-help UK and shared some interesting insight around women speaking out about their stories after breakups. Do read the below snippet on behalf of ex-posed.us because it is something that may be of value to you!

She’s Crazy.

Women often face an especially insidious cycle when dealing with drama.

As the drama begins to brew, many of us speak up. We do our best to communicate our thoughts and feelings, and share our perspective on what is happening. Granted, sometimes we’re better at this than other times, but more often than not, we’re trying.

This often gets ignored.

As the drama continues to build and often picks up speed, our voice becomes a bit louder. I have found that most women raise the volume when sharing their thoughts, feelings and perspectives in an effort to be heard. Often times they are not. Or worse, they’re heard but ignored.

At some point, we snap.

Sometimes this cycle seems to take a matter of moments from start to finish. Other times it can build over a period of years.

But this isn’t even the worst part.

Once we snap, so often- far too often- we’re labeled as “crazy,” “unhinged,” or “unstable.” And if you’ve been labeled crazy, it takes very little justification to be ignored. We write off “crazy women” all the time. And when we do this, the focus shifts from the issue to the craziness and blame is placed squarely on her shoulders.

Do you have a story about an ex? Find out more on how to share yours here!

If you are struggling after a breakup, contact us today for a free 20 minute chat to get started on the journey towards recovery.


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breakup-help has won an award!

Breakup-help has won an award!

Category:Uncategorised Tags : 

Breakup-help has won an award! It’s our pleasure to announce that breakup-help has been named ‘the most unique telephone support service for 2021’! This is such an achievement for breakup-help, we strive to offer support to people all over the country after they have gone through a relationship breakup.

Relationships breakups can be such a low, sad and lonely time. Breakup-help knows this and wants to help people come out the other side of a breakup. We strive to continue to provide support to those who need it and are very happy with the recognition that SME News have provided us with.

Breakup-help has won an award- SME News has awarded breakup-help the title of ‘most unique telephone advice and support service 2021’ for the 2021 UK enterprise awards. See more about SME News here. SME news recognised and placed value on our service.

Are you going through a breakup? Book your free chat with us here and see what it is all about. We can guide you through the process from denial over the end of a breakup through to acceptance. Are you are just going through a breakup? Do you feel like nothing will make you feel better? Then reach out to us for help.


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breakup-help features in top relationship blogs

Breakup-help features in top relationship blogs 2021

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,relationship,self-help,Uncategorised

Breakup-help features in top relationship blogs 2021! We are ecstatic to share exciting news with our loyal readers. Breakup-help have featured on the top 100 best relationship blogs for 2021 with love connection! We are very happy to be featured on this wonderful list of top bloggers and had to share the news!

Breakup-help features in top relationship blogs 2021 and you can read the full article here! We have featured amongst many brilliant relationship bloggers and are on the list of top relationship blogs to read for 2021! Breakup-help has been working hard to reach as many people around the UK who are going through a breakup. This has been great in helping us with our mission! Spread the word our loyal readers, if you have a friend who needs us, send them our way!

If you are struggling after the end of a relationship, book your first free chat with breakup-help here. We can take you from feeling denial over the end of a relationship to acceptance that it is over. We work together to understand the challenging emotions that arise during the process. Feeling such as anger, hurt, abandonment and loneliness. Find out what we can do to help you.


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How to survive a breakup

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,relationship,self-care,self-help,stages we work through,Uncategorised Tags : 

How to survive a breakup. Its a BIG deal right. I’m sorry you’ve been hurt by a breakup. It can be so underestimated the level of hurt that a breakup can cause. But please believe me when I say- you will be okay again.

Here are my top 5 ways to help yourself during a breakup.

1. Cry it out. Don’t try to keep strong and bottle it up all the time. Take time out to sit with your feelings, allow them to be what they are and cry! The world CAN and WILL wait. Just remember at some point to pick yourself back up again.

2. When you keep remembering the good times, also remember the bad. Sounds negative but believe me- they weren’t perfect and you weren’t always happy with them. If you are struggling, ask a friend to help you think of things and write them down so you can revisit them when you are having a rose tinted glasses moment about your ex. Find out how to keep doing this here.

3. Say YES to plans and invitations to things. You need to try to remember how it feels to be independent and happy again. You are the only person you have to live with for the rest of your life- make it good! Are you struggling with the motivation to do this? Find out more on how to get started here.

4. Talk it out. This is one of the most important tips. Make sure you are finding time to talk about what has happened and how you are feeling. We can definitely help you with this one! Book your first telephone session with us here.

5. Give yourself time. You aren’t going to get over this overnight unfortunately. But be patient and kind with yourself. Ask for help and guidance to get started on feeling better.


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Results on google search for how to get better sleep.

How to get over your ex

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,relationship,self-care,self-help,stages we work through Tags : 

How to get over your ex. The very highly searched term in recent times. 2020 seemed to be THE year for breakups. Now we’re deep into 2021 and it’s definitely time to move forward with your life if a breakup is something you have been going through.

I figured since I help people every day to get over relationship breakups, I’d put together a helpful list of things to help you get over your ex.

Top 5 tips

1. Journaling really works. Write down all the things that are coming to mind about how you are feeling and the thoughts you are having. Putting those thoughts on paper are metaphorically taking them out of your mind for a while. It was probably starting to feel a little cluttered in there!

2. Balance out your positive thoughts of your ex with realistic ones. Come on. You know deep down they weren’t really a Prince with perfect everything. Dig deep- think about all the bad stuff too and all the things that used to drive you up the wall.

3. Think about what you have put off doing for yourself or what you have felt held back with. Did you make sacrifices and decisions based on your partner or your relationship? Time to take back your life and own your independence again! You used to be fine before them, remember?

4. Catch up with friends. Old and new. Socialise and say yes to almost everything you get invited to do. You need to be reminded that there is more to the world than your ex and this is the perfect way to be reminded of that.

5. Take time to feel what you feel. Sit with your feelings and make sure you are able to vent and talk about all of the feelings you are experiencing. Book your first free chat with us here.


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Getting over a breakup- let go and move on

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,relationship,self-help,Uncategorised Tags : 

Getting over a breakup-let go and move on. Relationships can have an impact on us long after they end. Something that was such a big part of your life is no longer there, how do you expect the mind to behave!!? Carrying around emotional pain from a relationship can prevent you from moving on. Here are some ways to let go and move on.

Top 5 things

1. Talk to someone. You will be going through some stages of emotions that you might not quite understand. You are essentially grieving the loss you have faced. Be sure to give yourself time and the support you need to recover from what has happened.

2. Embrace your freedom. Think about all the things you put off doing or stopped doing while you were in your relationship. Make plans for your own personal progress and focus on yourself. You will have gone from being a ‘we’ and an ‘us’ to being an ‘I’ and a ‘me’ again so this will feel like a challenge. Reach out to us for some guidance on this.

3. Stop romanticising the relationship and your ex. Chances are they weren’t as great as you are remembering them to be. Balance out those thoughts with thoughts of times when you weren’t happy or didn’t feel loved by them.

4. Sit with your feelings. Try not to bottle your emotions up. You need to sit with your feelings and allow them to be what they are. It’s no good avoiding what has happened. Face up to what you have experienced and begin to heal this way. We can help you with this.

5. Cut contact if you have no reasonable explanation for continuing communication. If you have children or shared a home, it may be necessary. But make contact the bare minimum and make communication only about those necessary things. if you keep that person close, it will prevent you from moving on because you will always keep a small piece of hope for getting back together.

If you need support after a breakup, your first telephone session is free. Book it here!


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How to get over someone: 5 expert tips

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,Uncategorised Tags : 

How to get over someone: 5 expert tips to help you move on, when you feel like moving on from your ex is hopeless and is never going to happen. Moving past a breakup will be difficult, but there are ways to make it a little easier.

Top 5

1. Be patient with yourself. The most common thing I see with my clients is that they set expectations of themselves for when they should be feeling better or happy again. Give yourself a chance. Try not to apply pressure to yourself this way and work on being patient with yourself.

2. Channel your inner cheerleader. Breakups can make you forget your worth. You will be blaming yourself for things and feeling unlovable or unwanted. This is not rational thinking and you need to actively work on focusing on your best qualities.

3. Cut off contact with your ex. It is especially important to do this if communicating with them is making you feel hopeful that things will go back to normal. This is unhealthy because it means you aren’t living in the present moment and that your ex has control over your future. (This is of course not possible for some people, if you have children together for example. In this case it is important to only make communication about the child).

4. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. Cry if you need to. As often as you need to. Cut off people who make you feel worse even if temporary. You need to put your well-being first so if you need to be cut-throat about not communicating with people who make you feel worse, do so.

5. TALK to someone about what is happening and how you are feeling. If you have a close friend or family member maybe they will let you put them on standby if you have the urge to text or call your ex, that way you can contact your friend instead. Talk to a professional who can help work through all these tips with you. It’s easier read than done!

Hopefully you enjoyed our 5 expert tips on how to get over someone. If you are going through a breakup, book your first free chat with our breakup coach here.