Category Archives: relationship

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breakup-help features in top relationship blogs

Breakup-help features in top relationship blogs 2021

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,relationship,self-help,Uncategorised

Breakup-help features in top relationship blogs 2021! We are ecstatic to share exciting news with our loyal readers. Breakup-help have featured on the top 100 best relationship blogs for 2021 with love connection! We are very happy to be featured on this wonderful list of top bloggers and had to share the news!

Breakup-help features in top relationship blogs 2021 and you can read the full article here! We have featured amongst many brilliant relationship bloggers and are on the list of top relationship blogs to read for 2021! Breakup-help has been working hard to reach as many people around the UK who are going through a breakup. This has been great in helping us with our mission! Spread the word our loyal readers, if you have a friend who needs us, send them our way!

If you are struggling after the end of a relationship, book your first free chat with breakup-help here. We can take you from feeling denial over the end of a relationship to acceptance that it is over. We work together to understand the challenging emotions that arise during the process. Feeling such as anger, hurt, abandonment and loneliness. Find out what we can do to help you.

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How to survive a breakup

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,relationship,self-care,self-help,stages we work through,Uncategorised Tags : 

How to survive a breakup. Its a BIG deal right. I’m sorry you’ve been hurt by a breakup. It can be so underestimated the level of hurt that a breakup can cause. But please believe me when I say- you will be okay again.

Here are my top 5 ways to help yourself during a breakup.

1. Cry it out. Don’t try to keep strong and bottle it up all the time. Take time out to sit with your feelings, allow them to be what they are and cry! The world CAN and WILL wait. Just remember at some point to pick yourself back up again.

2. When you keep remembering the good times, also remember the bad. Sounds negative but believe me- they weren’t perfect and you weren’t always happy with them. If you are struggling, ask a friend to help you think of things and write them down so you can revisit them when you are having a rose tinted glasses moment about your ex. Find out how to keep doing this here.

3. Say YES to plans and invitations to things. You need to try to remember how it feels to be independent and happy again. You are the only person you have to live with for the rest of your life- make it good! Are you struggling with the motivation to do this? Find out more on how to get started here.

4. Talk it out. This is one of the most important tips. Make sure you are finding time to talk about what has happened and how you are feeling. We can definitely help you with this one! Book your first telephone session with us here.

5. Give yourself time. You aren’t going to get over this overnight unfortunately. But be patient and kind with yourself. Ask for help and guidance to get started on feeling better.

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Results on google search for how to get better sleep.

How to get over your ex

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,relationship,self-care,self-help,stages we work through Tags : 

How to get over your ex. The very highly searched term in recent times. 2020 seemed to be THE year for breakups. Now we’re deep into 2021 and it’s definitely time to move forward with your life if a breakup is something you have been going through.

I figured since I help people every day to get over relationship breakups, I’d put together a helpful list of things to help you get over your ex.

Top 5 tips

1. Journaling really works. Write down all the things that are coming to mind about how you are feeling and the thoughts you are having. Putting those thoughts on paper are metaphorically taking them out of your mind for a while. It was probably starting to feel a little cluttered in there!

2. Balance out your positive thoughts of your ex with realistic ones. Come on. You know deep down they weren’t really a Prince with perfect everything. Dig deep- think about all the bad stuff too and all the things that used to drive you up the wall.

3. Think about what you have put off doing for yourself or what you have felt held back with. Did you make sacrifices and decisions based on your partner or your relationship? Time to take back your life and own your independence again! You used to be fine before them, remember?

4. Catch up with friends. Old and new. Socialise and say yes to almost everything you get invited to do. You need to be reminded that there is more to the world than your ex and this is the perfect way to be reminded of that.

5. Take time to feel what you feel. Sit with your feelings and make sure you are able to vent and talk about all of the feelings you are experiencing. Book your first free chat with us here.

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Getting over a breakup- let go and move on

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,relationship,self-help,Uncategorised Tags : 

Getting over a breakup-let go and move on. Relationships can have an impact on us long after they end. Something that was such a big part of your life is no longer there, how do you expect the mind to behave!!? Carrying around emotional pain from a relationship can prevent you from moving on. Here are some ways to let go and move on.

Top 5 things

1. Talk to someone. You will be going through some stages of emotions that you might not quite understand. You are essentially grieving the loss you have faced. Be sure to give yourself time and the support you need to recover from what has happened.

2. Embrace your freedom. Think about all the things you put off doing or stopped doing while you were in your relationship. Make plans for your own personal progress and focus on yourself. You will have gone from being a ‘we’ and an ‘us’ to being an ‘I’ and a ‘me’ again so this will feel like a challenge. Reach out to us for some guidance on this.

3. Stop romanticising the relationship and your ex. Chances are they weren’t as great as you are remembering them to be. Balance out those thoughts with thoughts of times when you weren’t happy or didn’t feel loved by them.

4. Sit with your feelings. Try not to bottle your emotions up. You need to sit with your feelings and allow them to be what they are. It’s no good avoiding what has happened. Face up to what you have experienced and begin to heal this way. We can help you with this.

5. Cut contact if you have no reasonable explanation for continuing communication. If you have children or shared a home, it may be necessary. But make contact the bare minimum and make communication only about those necessary things. if you keep that person close, it will prevent you from moving on because you will always keep a small piece of hope for getting back together.

If you need support after a breakup, your first telephone session is free. Book it here!

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How to date during lockdown

Category:relationship,Uncategorised Tags : 

How to date during lockdown. Recently, I have often been asked about this. ‘How am I supposed to meet someone new if I can’t go anywhere!?’ Well, humans are made to socialise- it’s in our DNA! This isn’t just about romantic relationships either. This goes for non-romantic relationships too. During a time like this, socialising is going to be more of a challenge but here are my top tips to help you.

1. Use this time to be more selective about the person you choose to talk to. At a time like this, priorities change a little, if what you want is someone who looks like a Victoria’s secret model just also remember to look at their personal qualities. This is what is going to keep your interest if you aren’t able to see each other. All jokes aside, know what your relationship boundaries are and what your criteria is for a partner. Use the extra alone time lockdown gives you to take more care to find what you really want.

2. Meet remotely with people enough times to know whether you will want to eventually meet in person. This offers more emotional protection and you can get to know a lot about someone through a video date. Ok, so ‘I can’t hear you, you might be on mute’ isn’t the most romantic of sentences but you can really use this chance to make a more informative and genuine impression of someone. (without the vodka shots and that ‘I can’t feel my face’ song booming in the background)…….

3. When you know they are someone you are comfortable with and want to know more about, go for that social distanced walk together (provided you live nearby and aren’t breaking the law).

4. Have a ‘remote’ movie night together (but apart). Both of you can get snacks in and pick a movie together, then go on video call to be able to see each others reactions to plot points and so you can still spend time together even if apart!

5. Don’t be afraid to ask important questions. This may even be easier NOT in person! Take advantage of that and make sure you aren’t investing too much emotionally before you have the answers to the questions that are important to you.

Hopefully you enjoyed our blog today about how to date during lockdown. If you need one-on-one support or guidance with a coach, book your first FREE chat with us here.

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love healthy relationship

How to build a healthy relationship

Category:relationship,Uncategorised Tags : 

How to build a healthy relationship. Do you want to feel connected to your partner and are seeking the unconditional, healthy relationship everyone talks about?

All relationships take work and dedication, its not always going to be easy. You need to have a willingness to adapt to your partner and change in a positive way based on these adaptations. Whether you have been together for what feels like forever or you are single and just want tips for your next relationship.

Learn how to build a relationship that is satisfying and happy, here are my top tips to find fulfilment and lasting happiness.

Top 10 tips:

1.Spend quality time together

You fall in love and stay in love by looking at and listening to one another. Being attentive can help sustain longer term happiness. It becomes harder to find time to spend together what with life demands and you are likely used to the new exciting feeling of having first got together. This will feel like a significant switch when you end up living together, doing the ‘life’ stuff together. DO NOT allow this to make you forget how important it is to spend quality time together. Regularly connect over things when you spend time together- let technology take a back seat and really focus on the time you are spending with your partner. Find a joint hobby or activity that you both enjoy and do this regularly. Try new things together and have adventures together! This is supposed to be your life partner and team mate so make plans to do amazing things together and carry those out. Make memories and go on brilliant journeys together.

2. Communicate openly.

Effective communication helps to maintain a strong, lasting romantic relationship. How else will they know what your needs are? Its either: communicate and have your needs met thus have a good connection with your partner, or: Don’t have your needs met and feel like the connection is lacking. Make the right choice! Communication is also about taking note of non-verbal cues- your partner will respond differently to uncomfortable or tense situations. Your partner may want a hug after a stressful day whereas you may just want to sit together and talk. Make sure that what you say matches your body language. It’s no good saying ‘I’m fine’ but then looking away and crossing your arms over. Be very aware of how you are coming across non-verbally.

3. Don’t push your expectations onto your partner

Do not push your expectations on to your partner. If you have set expectations that your partner does not want to or can’t meet, it is not healthy to try to push these onto them. These are expectations you have set therefore it is never fair to expect someone else to reach all of these. Compromise is important, nobody is perfect and you need to be able to accept your partner for all of their quirks as well as the good stuff without expecting perfection.

4. Maintain a good relationship with yourself

If you had hobbies before your relationship such as working out, meeting the girls/boys for dinner and a catch up every couple of weeks, or other similar activities, it is important to maintain these. You need to have a life outside of your relationship. This doesn’t mean that you can’t make your relationship your priority. It means: sustain your own identity in order to prevent unhealthy pressure being put on your relationship.

5. Maintain a meaningful emotional connection with each other

Work hard to make your partner feel emotionally fulfilled and loved. This means, feeling accepted and valued by your partner. Some couples exist in amicable coexistence however this is not the same as being able to truly connect emotionally with your partner. Without this connection there may be a feeling of distance between you. Enjoy the little things you do together and make sure that you are always showing gratitude for all the things you adore about each other! Don’t get comfortable being comfortable. Keep it exciting, this way you will always enjoy your time together whilst feeling secure and at peace together.

6. Treat them how you want to be treated (yes its a cliché but really)

Agree your boundaries and don’t do things you know will hurt their feelings. If there are things you would not be ok with them doing then don’t do them yourself! Get into the habit of having empathy in that you can put yourself in their position about how they might feel after you do something. It’s so important to ensure you are in tune with each other and know what the other likes and dislikes. Get into the habit of doing the good and avoiding the bad!

It is so important to focus on your relationship at all times not just some of the time. It takes ongoing attention and commitment to be truly happy and fulfilled in your relationship.

7. Keep physical intimacy alive

Touch is a fundamental part of our existence. Regular affectionate contact is so important in maintaining effective attachment and healthy connections. Holding hands, hugging and kissing are all just as important as sexual intimacy in keeping the romance alive. Be sensitive to what your partner likes and dislikes when it comes to physical intimacy. Even amongst a pressing workload or childcare duties it is so important to carve out time for physical intimacy with your partner.

8. Compromise, compromise and compromise

If you expect to get what you want all of the time then you need to seriously have a word with yourself, because you are leading yourself up to be disappointed. Both parties in a relationship need to put forward a reasonable exchange and learn to compromise. It is important that you both recognise what is important to each other and build a positive atmosphere.

9. Don’t make your goal during disagreements about ‘winning’

Do not always expect things to go your way ‘or else’. This attitude could make your partner feel trapped and like their feelings are not valid. This is very damaging to both your partner and your relationship. Perhaps this desire for everything to go your way stems from not having your needs met as a child. Or maybe it comes from years of not having your voice heard in previous relationships. But ultimately this is a damaging trait so needs to be dealt with before it causes damage. Your partner deserves to be heard and have their feelings validated as well.

10. Leave the past in the past

Do not drag old arguments or issues into the mix when you are feeling low or trying to resolve conflict. Do not try to assign old blame to things that should no longer be relevant. Look at the present situation and work on that. Be willing to let things go and don’t keep bringing them up! There is nothing more damaging to a relationship than bringing up old uncomfortable conversations and previous issues consistently. Once you have tackled an issue, agree to leave it there. Conflict is inevitable but make sure to fight fair when it happens!

I hope you enjoyed my top 10 ways of learning how to build a healthy relationship. If you need some one on support, book your free 20 minute chat with our relationship breakup coach here.

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Will we breakup because it was too soon to live together

Will we breakup because it was too soon to live together?

Category:relationship,Uncategorised Tags : 

Are you going through a breakup or through relationship challenges and wondering if it is due to the pressure that you both or one of you felt to live together before you might have been ready?

Given our current situation what with COVID, government rules have meant that there has been an increase in couples living together more quickly than they would have normally to protect their relationships. But this could end up being in vain.

To prevent this from becoming a negative thing there are steps that should be taken;

1) Don’t lose your boundaries. Remember to have some alone time, even if this is just in separate rooms.

2) If you have limited space, agree a timetable. For example, if you are both working from home put together a rota to make sure you aren’t squabbling over who gets to be in the office at a certain time.

3) Try to maintain some form of routine. If you would usually start work at 9 and finish at 5 try to make sure you still do this- turn your laptop off at 5. This will help you continue to make time for your relationship and/or family.

4) Be kind to yourself. These are not normal times so everything can’t be within your control. Less so than normal. If things aren’t perfect at the moment, try to let those little things go.

5) Expect that the people around you won’t be behaving completely normally. Be kind to yourself but to others as well. Perhaps your partner seems more grumpy than usual? Try to be understanding during a time of crisis. An outburst or argument doesn’t mean your relationship is in trouble. In fact it’s healthy to release emotions.

If you are going through a breakup or you are struggling with you relationship, you can book your first session with me for free here.

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How to breakup with someone

Category:relationship,Uncategorised Tags : 

How to breakup with someone gracefully…it’s not an easy thing to do. Is it even possible? Well there are some things to know that may make it a little less painful not only in the moment you do the deed but also during the aftermath.

Breakups are unique. This means that one rule for one person may not work for another. My professional advice to my clients will always be based on the context of their own personal relationship and breakup. There are no simple answers but there are some important factors to always consider. Here is my top 5 list of things:

1- DO try to do it in person if you can. Except for unusual circumstances (whereby your ex is obsessive and has hassled you non-stop therefore you feel you can only do it via text and not in person or for example they’ve done something unforgivable…….). If you have respect for them then it’s best to try to have the conversation in person.

2- DO cut contact with them after the breakup. This is important but takes a lot of courage to do. This helps promote faster emotional recovery from the breakup. This is a reasonable and effective thing to do so DO put yourself first by taking this step.

3- DO both take time to recognise that this breakup happened for a reason. That person is not your person. You were not compatible otherwise you’d still be together. Sounds harsh but the sooner you accept this, the sooner you can find happiness again.

4- DO NOT try to make the other person feel better. Once you have the dreaded breakup conversation and the relationship is severed, it is not your responsibility to help that person or to support them emotionally. This can majorly backfire as it will make them feel resentful. They may even try to make you feel guilty for leaving and try to get as much out of you as possible. Oh and do not have sex with them. Ever again. Stop!

5- DO talk to someone (for example Or recommend that they talk to someone (for example You will often observe your own relationships poorly and it may not be obvious to you how the breakup has affected you.

For a free 20 minute chat with me head over to my bookings page now!

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my alone feels so good

How to: be happy on your own

Category:relationship,self-care,self-help,Uncategorised Tags : 

How to be happy on your own and in your own company. 5 tips to train your mind to be better at this. Following on from my previous blog post (do you want to stop feeling lonely after a breakup), here is an article to help you master being on your own and enjoying it!

Some people are naturally happy being solo but for others it can be a real challenge. However, there are always ways to become more comfortable with this (even if you are a dedicated extrovert!).

Having a positive relationship with yourself is definitely an investment worth having. You spend a lot of time with yourself, so you may as well learn to enjoy it!

First let’s separate being ‘alone’ from being ‘lonely’. They may overlap, however they are very different. If you feel content when you are having alone time and look forward to it, this is simply being alone. If when you are on your own, you are filled with sadness and ache for company then you, my friend, feel lonely.

Why is being ‘alone’ seen as such a negative thing?! Ultimately all it means is that you are on your own but this could be such a productive and self-reflective time that leads to all positive things!

Ok lets dive into my top 5 tips to get more comfortable being alone.

Top 5 tips:

1) STOP comparing yourself to others.

Let’s face it, those people who appear to be doing lots of brilliant things, who look like they have an enviable social life are probably just very good at keeping up appearances. Get out of the negative habit of looking at other people’s lives and comparing yours with theirs.

2) BREAK free from social media.

Even if it’s only during the time you are alone or for an hour each evening. If you notice that scrolling through your news feeds are making you feel stressed or feel a strong case of FOMO then this is a huge indicator that you need to wean yourself off the gram!

3) TAKE YOURSELF out for a date.

If even just the thought of going out on your own fills you with anxiety it means you have room to improve your relationship with yourself. Are you are reading this tip and thinking, ‘there’s no way I’m going out for lunch on my own’? Start by going to a coffee shop once a week instead. This will feel more acceptable to you until you have mastered the art of being happy alone.

4) DO NOTHING for 5-10 minutes of your day.

Sounds ridiculous I know. Who tells anyone to ‘do nothing’ but by this I mean literally nothing. Stare out the window, sit in a dimly lit room, let your mind truly wander without any distractions. You need this time to think of brilliant ideas and it doesn’t happen when you are constantly distracted by something.

5) EMBRACE NATURE and go for a mindful walk.

If you have a dog that you have to walk anyway this will be easy to get into the habit of doing, but if not then take a walk around the block to start off and gradually build this up. It’s not just about walking, it’s about taking in your surroundings as you go. Use your senses- what can you smell, see and touch. Try to really be in the moment. This gets easier with practice.

If you are struggling to be on your own after a breakup, book a free 20 minute chat with me here.

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How to deal with a breakup in quarantine

Category:heartbroken,relationship,Uncategorised Tags : 

How to deal with a breakup in quarantine. Breakups are hard in normal conditions and during a pandemic will be even more of a challenge. Here are 5 tips to help you if this is happening to you.

1) Communicate with people.

Activities that are usually available to us as a distraction aren’t as readily available anymore so meeting with friends or going out as we would have before may not be possible. Communicate with and reach out to family and friends wherever possible- ask for help.

2) Allow yourself to be sad.

Don’t think just because the pandemic is happening and everyone is having issues and problems surrounding it that you can’t feel sad and express that. Be kind to yourself as you would be to a friend.

3) Take up a new hobby.

One positive thing the pandemic has probably given us is more time. Time to do something new that makes you feel good. Replace the time you spent with your ex with something new for yourself.

4) Social distance yourself from your ex!

Block them on everything and get rid of everything that is a trigger for you hurting. This can be a challenge if you are still living together but make it your priority to be away from them and focus on yourself.

5) Engage in distractions.

If you can’t meet friends in person, have a long telephone conversation or dinner over zoom! Treat yourself to some new make up or clothes and meet new people (this is still possible in a virtual way!), join an online fitness class or just focus on something for your own health and wellness.

Those are my top 5 tips for how to deal with a breakup in quarantine. If you need help getting over your ex, book a free 20 minute chat with me here.