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dealing with a relationship breakup

Dealing with a relationship breakup can be one of the hardest things to do for many of us. It can be so incredibly painful on an emotional level. Humans aren’t good at coping with something like a relationship breakup because we are never taught to be equipped with the skills to heal in a healthy way after it happens. We are often left with feeling of abandonment and rejection that we just don’t know what to do with. Here are some tips to help you if you are going through a breakup or know somebody who is.

Accept your feelings about the relationship and breakup- try not to fight them.

You will be experiencing a number of challenging feelings that you may not have had to face before. You must allow yourself to feel sad, frustrated or confused because you are grieving the loss of something that has been a part of your life for some time. When you are grieving the loss of something, it takes some patience and kindness towards yourself when feeling the rollercoaster of emotions. Allow it to exist, this is how it will pass.

Try to avoid self-blame for the breakup.

Humans have a tendency to personalise a relationship breakup. To blame themselves for it having ended. You cannot be held solely responsible for the dynamic and thus the failure of a relationship. Humans will instinctively blame themselves by thinking if there was nothing wrong with me, they wouldn’t have left me. The truth of the matter is that relationships are far more complex than this. Even if you had been a typically perfect person to them it may still not have been enough. Focus on thinking about the relationship in a more balanced and rational way.

Reintroduce normality into your life.

Your life may be feeling far from normal right now because the person you used to share everything with is no longer there. This will cause some confusion to the minds ‘default setting’ which may have been your ex for a number of things. Try to get out of bed at a reasonable time and practice good self hygiene. This will force some normality back into your life.

Say yes to more things.

Maybe your friends are trying to get you out the house and you just don’t feel like it. Try to force yourself to do these things because they will boost your confidence a little and help you to realise there is a life outside of the relationship you are spending so much time obsessing over. Join that new yoga class or go out and buy yourself those new shoes you’ve wanted. Reconnect with the person within because rediscovering or discovering hobbies and activities will make you feel good.

Talk to a professional about dealing with a breakup.

Talking about your breakup and the feelings that are occurring due to it can help you to manage them. Talking about the breakup can help you to put things into a new perspective and help you to rationalise your thoughts. A professional can guide you through the process of the breakup and get you to a much healthier place.

We offer a free 20 minute session by telephone at breakup help- book yours here to learn about dealing with a relationship breakup.

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