How to get over a breakup. Top tips to try when you are going through a relationship breakup.
Balance your thoughts. When you are going through a breakup because the other person ended the relationship, it is very common to begin picking yourself apart. Be it your appearance, personality, character or behaviours. You may be wondering what is wrong with you and why someone would leave you. Try to avoid this thought pattern, instead balance out any thoughts about things you aren’t great at with things you know you did well in that relationship. Remember, you aren’t thinking rationally right now so may be putting your ex on a pedestal and blaming yourself for this outcome.
Go to new places. I know, at first the only place you may want to go to is bed. You will realise you can’t stay in bed forever. If you are lucky enough to have family or friends who are checking in with you, use that support. Say yes to going out for a walk, going for a coffee and treat or to going for a weekend away. Your family and friends will understand you may not be completely yourself but it is very important to force some social activity back into your life. Soon enough, you will begin enjoying it again and it will contribute to rebuilding your self-esteem.
Avoid a rebound. Your friends may be trying to convince you that hinge is a good idea right now. Yes, it can boost your confidence in the moment, which can be a nice thing. But try not to allow this to become something you rely on for gratification. Especially try to avoid falling into a rebound relationship. This is where you are replacing your ex for the sake of doing things your mind has noticed is missing. Before you know it, you will wake up from this temporary rebound dream and realise you don’t like that person. You may have even hurt their feelings along the way. Focus on your relationship with yourself instead. You will find the right person when it is your time to and it will be far more successful of a relationship if you have grown within yourself first.
Be realistic about the relationship. You may be walking down memory lane with some giant rose tinted glasses on right now. This is very common during a breakup. It is very difficult for you to remember all the hard times and bad memories. The mind just doesn’t want to be reminded of those things. At this time it is important that you view the relationship for what it truly was, not what you wanted it to be. Force yourself to remember the bad as well as the good. If you are struggling ask a friend to remind you of the things you cried to them about. Or the things you were worried about that you shared with them.
Talk to a professional. Talking to a professional can help you recover in the most effective and healthy way possible. We offer a FREE telephone session to anyone who is interested in getting some expert help on moving forward after a breakup. Book yours here.