Should you trust them?
The Closet Test.
I have a very simple test that helps me determine if I trust a man: I decide whether or not I would be comfortable being locked in a closet with him. With some men, I would be completely comfortable being locked alone in a closet with them for hours. With others, I would not even enter the closet.
Earlier today I learned that a woman I know had recently caught her husband of over 20 years cheating. My immediate response was that despite knowing the guy for 25 years, I would definitely not want to be locked in a closet with him.
This made me think two things:
First, I believe that we, as women, just know. I believe that we have been graced with a sixth sense, and when we are “surprised” by terrible behavior it’s because we knew, but ignored or justified. I know that has definitely been true for me.
My second thought was a bit more humbling: What a terrible response. Instead of immediately thinking that the guy has always been a creep, I should have thought of the poor woman who is undoubtedly reeling right now. Shame on me. I don’t know why we do that. It reminds me of how we behave when we pass a traffic accident- we often jump to wondering what happened before wondering about the victims. I’ll try to do better.
This particular woman is pretty incredible, and I have no doubt that when this terrible situation becomes an unpleasant memory, she’ll be better off- no matter how she chooses to move forward.
I know, because I’ve been married to a man that nobody wanted to be locked in a closet with.
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