Tag Archives: breakup help

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How do I get over my ex?

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,Uncategorised Tags : 

How do I get over my ex? The question that brings people our way! It’s a big challenge for anybody to get over a breakup but with guidance and support it is definitely possible. If you feel like you can’t be happy without them and don’t know how to move froward with your life right now, reach out to us for a free 20 minute chat to get started! In the meantime, here are some useful tips to become aware of.

Top 5 tips:

1) Have some space from them and everything that is to do with them. Being reminded of the ‘good times’ isn’t going to help you right now. Avoid your ex as much as you can because you will get over the breakup much sooner the less contact you allow yourself to have with them. This includes social media stalking them and checking their last seen on whatsapp!

2) say yes to all the things you are invited to do. If your friends ask you to go with them to a jazzercise class – GO. Force yourself to be sociable with old friends and new. You need reminding that there is more to life than your ex.

3) Talk to someone about what you are going through. If possible, speak with a professional or someone who can offer you legitimate guidance that has been proven to work. You need to be able to voice the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing without feeling like you are bringing down the mood in your friendship group or feeling like you are repeating yourself about things to your friends and family. We can help you here!

4) Allow yourself to be sad about what has happened. If you need to cry in bed for a few hours or even a day or two, do that. Make sure you get up at some point and do functional things but allow yourself to sit with your feelings and wallow a little. This is ok. This is necessary for your healing.

5) Remind yourself of the things that made you unhappy in the relationship. Take the rose tinted glasses off in you can because your mind is tricking you into thinking everything was your fault and they are perfect and you need to change to fix things! This is not necessarily accurate. Try not to blame yourself for what has happened. It is far more complicated than that.

Book your first free 20 minute chat with us now!


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Why do I miss my ex so much?

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Why do I miss my ex so much? A question I am asked very often by clients. You aren’t just missing that person, you are missing who you were while you were with them, who you were as a couple. You are feeling a loss because you put so much into your relationship and now it’s over.

How do I stop missing them?

How do I stop missing them? This is another question I often get. Here are my top 5 tips for how to do this.

1) try not to play the blame game. Whether that’s you blaming them, yourself, the situation this is just going to keep you in the cycle of missing them. Stop entertaining those thoughts about what you should have or could have done differently.

2) get rid of all reminders. You won’t want to do this at first because you will still have hope that you will make things better and get back together. Whether that’s getting rid of the photos of you both, buying new bedding, replacing the purse they bought you. These things are all necessary to stop you missing them.

3) Really try to stick to a no contact rule. Every time you communicate with them you are making yourself feel better in the short term but making it harder for yourself long-term.

4) Say yes to your friends and family when they invite you out. you might want to wallow all day and night and by all means do that for a little bit bit then say yes and go out! Do productive things. Do things that will rebuild your confidence.

5) talk to someone. Not just a friend or family member because they will just try to make you feel better but won’t really know what to say. Talk to someone who can help guide and support you through the breakup process.

If you are going through a breakup or are asking yourself ‘why do I miss my ex so much?’ , reach out for your first free telephone chat now!


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Do you really want your ex back?

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,Uncategorised Tags : 

Breakups suck. We have well and truly established this. Especially if your one and only partner is the one to breakup with you and you don’t want it to happen. Well, you think you don’t want it to happen.

Denial– the first thing you experience. You want to fix it. Get things back to how they were. You think you can control what has happened and ‘change things’ or ‘be better’ to get them back.

This is a natural reaction, so don’t worry I’m not having a go at you! Just please ask yourself the following 5 questions before you declare with certainty that you want your ex back.

5 questions

1) Do you share the same values? The relationship really has no future if you don’t share the same values. This is not something you can just fix. Our values make us who we are and although at this stage you think you will change them if it means getting them back- this is a bad idea. You will lose yourself trying to find them again. Let us help you figure this out.

2) Are your issues resolvable? Face it- you broke up for a reason. A negative dynamic was formed along the way or you just found you weren’t right for each other. If the issues you had aren’t resolvable because you just can’t change who you or they are then it’s just not worth it.

3) Do you miss them or the idea of them? Really try to be honest about what you actually miss about them. Do you miss the person they were? How they treated you? Or do you just miss being in a relationship? Do you struggle to be alone? we can help you to understand if this is true for you.

4) Are you only remembering the good times? Are you idolising your ex? Do you keep thinking they are amazing and brilliant and it’s all your fault that it’s over? At the moment, your brain only wants to playback all of the good times and throw the rubbish times into the shadows. Be so aware of this. Look at the whole picture. We can help you with this.

5) Are you ok with the fact that they have left? This will be something you will have to be ok with if you ever got back together. At the moment you will say YES. But you will need to regain trust that they won’t abandon you at the first sign of an argument if you get back together again. They have hurt you by leaving and there is a reason they have left. Don’t lower your standards. You deserve to be with someone who actually wants to be with you without a doubt in their mind. let us help you build your confidence back up.

If you need help getting over your ex, contact us today for a free 20 minute telephone session to get started.


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How to survive a breakup

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,relationship,self-care,self-help,stages we work through,Uncategorised Tags : 

How to survive a breakup. Its a BIG deal right. I’m sorry you’ve been hurt by a breakup. It can be so underestimated the level of hurt that a breakup can cause. But please believe me when I say- you will be okay again.

Here are my top 5 ways to help yourself during a breakup.

1. Cry it out. Don’t try to keep strong and bottle it up all the time. Take time out to sit with your feelings, allow them to be what they are and cry! The world CAN and WILL wait. Just remember at some point to pick yourself back up again.

2. When you keep remembering the good times, also remember the bad. Sounds negative but believe me- they weren’t perfect and you weren’t always happy with them. If you are struggling, ask a friend to help you think of things and write them down so you can revisit them when you are having a rose tinted glasses moment about your ex. Find out how to keep doing this here.

3. Say YES to plans and invitations to things. You need to try to remember how it feels to be independent and happy again. You are the only person you have to live with for the rest of your life- make it good! Are you struggling with the motivation to do this? Find out more on how to get started here.

4. Talk it out. This is one of the most important tips. Make sure you are finding time to talk about what has happened and how you are feeling. We can definitely help you with this one! Book your first telephone session with us here.

5. Give yourself time. You aren’t going to get over this overnight unfortunately. But be patient and kind with yourself. Ask for help and guidance to get started on feeling better.


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Results on google search for how to get better sleep.

How to get over your ex

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,relationship,self-care,self-help,stages we work through Tags : 

How to get over your ex. The very highly searched term in recent times. 2020 seemed to be THE year for breakups. Now we’re deep into 2021 and it’s definitely time to move forward with your life if a breakup is something you have been going through.

I figured since I help people every day to get over relationship breakups, I’d put together a helpful list of things to help you get over your ex.

Top 5 tips

1. Journaling really works. Write down all the things that are coming to mind about how you are feeling and the thoughts you are having. Putting those thoughts on paper are metaphorically taking them out of your mind for a while. It was probably starting to feel a little cluttered in there!

2. Balance out your positive thoughts of your ex with realistic ones. Come on. You know deep down they weren’t really a Prince with perfect everything. Dig deep- think about all the bad stuff too and all the things that used to drive you up the wall.

3. Think about what you have put off doing for yourself or what you have felt held back with. Did you make sacrifices and decisions based on your partner or your relationship? Time to take back your life and own your independence again! You used to be fine before them, remember?

4. Catch up with friends. Old and new. Socialise and say yes to almost everything you get invited to do. You need to be reminded that there is more to the world than your ex and this is the perfect way to be reminded of that.

5. Take time to feel what you feel. Sit with your feelings and make sure you are able to vent and talk about all of the feelings you are experiencing. Book your first free chat with us here.


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Getting over a breakup- let go and move on

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,relationship,self-help,Uncategorised Tags : 

Getting over a breakup-let go and move on. Relationships can have an impact on us long after they end. Something that was such a big part of your life is no longer there, how do you expect the mind to behave!!? Carrying around emotional pain from a relationship can prevent you from moving on. Here are some ways to let go and move on.

Top 5 things

1. Talk to someone. You will be going through some stages of emotions that you might not quite understand. You are essentially grieving the loss you have faced. Be sure to give yourself time and the support you need to recover from what has happened.

2. Embrace your freedom. Think about all the things you put off doing or stopped doing while you were in your relationship. Make plans for your own personal progress and focus on yourself. You will have gone from being a ‘we’ and an ‘us’ to being an ‘I’ and a ‘me’ again so this will feel like a challenge. Reach out to us for some guidance on this.

3. Stop romanticising the relationship and your ex. Chances are they weren’t as great as you are remembering them to be. Balance out those thoughts with thoughts of times when you weren’t happy or didn’t feel loved by them.

4. Sit with your feelings. Try not to bottle your emotions up. You need to sit with your feelings and allow them to be what they are. It’s no good avoiding what has happened. Face up to what you have experienced and begin to heal this way. We can help you with this.

5. Cut contact if you have no reasonable explanation for continuing communication. If you have children or shared a home, it may be necessary. But make contact the bare minimum and make communication only about those necessary things. if you keep that person close, it will prevent you from moving on because you will always keep a small piece of hope for getting back together.

If you need support after a breakup, your first telephone session is free. Book it here!


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How to get over someone: 5 expert tips

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How to get over someone: 5 expert tips to help you move on, when you feel like moving on from your ex is hopeless and is never going to happen. Moving past a breakup will be difficult, but there are ways to make it a little easier.

Top 5

1. Be patient with yourself. The most common thing I see with my clients is that they set expectations of themselves for when they should be feeling better or happy again. Give yourself a chance. Try not to apply pressure to yourself this way and work on being patient with yourself.

2. Channel your inner cheerleader. Breakups can make you forget your worth. You will be blaming yourself for things and feeling unlovable or unwanted. This is not rational thinking and you need to actively work on focusing on your best qualities.

3. Cut off contact with your ex. It is especially important to do this if communicating with them is making you feel hopeful that things will go back to normal. This is unhealthy because it means you aren’t living in the present moment and that your ex has control over your future. (This is of course not possible for some people, if you have children together for example. In this case it is important to only make communication about the child).

4. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. Cry if you need to. As often as you need to. Cut off people who make you feel worse even if temporary. You need to put your well-being first so if you need to be cut-throat about not communicating with people who make you feel worse, do so.

5. TALK to someone about what is happening and how you are feeling. If you have a close friend or family member maybe they will let you put them on standby if you have the urge to text or call your ex, that way you can contact your friend instead. Talk to a professional who can help work through all these tips with you. It’s easier read than done!

Hopefully you enjoyed our 5 expert tips on how to get over someone. If you are going through a breakup, book your first free chat with our breakup coach here.


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Single on Valentine’s day?

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Are you feeling sad about being alone on valentines day? Well I’m here to tell you that you are not alone! People all around are feeling especially lonely and bored coming up to valentines day this year. Here are my top tips to survive this valentines day as a single:

1) put dating on hold. Ok at the moment this isn’t exactly much of a choice BUT tell yourself you are choosing to do this. Use the mantra ‘I am hitting pause on dating for a while’. Don’t get me wrong, you should continue to socialise with people remotely where possible but maybe consider not investing seriously in anyone during the pandemic.

2) write yourself a love letter. Really take time for yourself. Relax and get to know YOU. Write yourself a letter to celebrate all the things you are proud of and all the progress you have made.

3) Stay off social media for a day. If you know you are gonna feel salty over the #couplegoals hashtags then avoid it for one day!

4) Treat yourself. Spend whatever you would have spent on your partner, on yourself. You deserve it! Grab a takeaway and just treat yourself for a day.

5) connect with your single friends. Galentines day will also always be a thing! Have a virtual dinner date with a fellow single and share some laughter and fun. They may need it as much as you do!

Reach out to us if you are finding it hard being single on valentines day or just in general- your first telephone chat is free!


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How to date during lockdown

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How to date during lockdown. Recently, I have often been asked about this. ‘How am I supposed to meet someone new if I can’t go anywhere!?’ Well, humans are made to socialise- it’s in our DNA! This isn’t just about romantic relationships either. This goes for non-romantic relationships too. During a time like this, socialising is going to be more of a challenge but here are my top tips to help you.

1. Use this time to be more selective about the person you choose to talk to. At a time like this, priorities change a little, if what you want is someone who looks like a Victoria’s secret model just also remember to look at their personal qualities. This is what is going to keep your interest if you aren’t able to see each other. All jokes aside, know what your relationship boundaries are and what your criteria is for a partner. Use the extra alone time lockdown gives you to take more care to find what you really want.

2. Meet remotely with people enough times to know whether you will want to eventually meet in person. This offers more emotional protection and you can get to know a lot about someone through a video date. Ok, so ‘I can’t hear you, you might be on mute’ isn’t the most romantic of sentences but you can really use this chance to make a more informative and genuine impression of someone. (without the vodka shots and that ‘I can’t feel my face’ song booming in the background)…….

3. When you know they are someone you are comfortable with and want to know more about, go for that social distanced walk together (provided you live nearby and aren’t breaking the law).

4. Have a ‘remote’ movie night together (but apart). Both of you can get snacks in and pick a movie together, then go on video call to be able to see each others reactions to plot points and so you can still spend time together even if apart!

5. Don’t be afraid to ask important questions. This may even be easier NOT in person! Take advantage of that and make sure you aren’t investing too much emotionally before you have the answers to the questions that are important to you.

Hopefully you enjoyed our blog today about how to date during lockdown. If you need one-on-one support or guidance with a coach, book your first FREE chat with us here.


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How to get over a breakup

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How to get over a breakup, according to a relationship breakup expert.

1. Gain understanding of the processes happening inside your mind. Your brain functions differently during a breakup. You are effectively getting over an addiction because that’s what your ex became. You will become desperate and behave out of character. So, speak to someone who can explain what’s taking place in your mind.

2. Stop thinking you need ‘closure’. This is masking the desire to get back with your ex. You think by speaking to them once more you will figure outa way to fix things. Instead, work on accepting you just weren’t meant to be together. Speak to someone who can help you. Our breakup coach here offers a free 20 minute chat if you click here.

3. Unfriend them on social media. This includes any mutual friends you follow, if their posts are causing you to feel unhappy. or even if it’s just leading you to keep checking if there’s any sign of them on things. Do what you need to do to feel better. You can always reach out to people again once you get past the worst of it.

4. Recognise that your mind is reinforcing the positive moments and happy times you shared. Speak to someone and balance out those thoughts with realistic events that took place to counter balance the good ones. I can help you with this.

5. Try new things. When your friends tries to drag you out the house to go out for fresh air, GO! Force yourself to go out and do things because you need to boost your confidence back up. Try new things and go to new places with people. Break your usual routine and spend quality time with people you didn’t get round to spending time with when you were caught up in your relationship.

If you are going through a breakup, get in touch with us here today!