How to be happy on your own and in your own company. 5 tips to train your mind to be better at this. Following on from my previous blog post (do you want to stop feeling lonely after a breakup), here is an article to help you master being on your own and enjoying it!
Some people are naturally happy being solo but for others it can be a real challenge. However, there are always ways to become more comfortable with this (even if you are a dedicated extrovert!).
Having a positive relationship with yourself is definitely an investment worth having. You spend a lot of time with yourself, so you may as well learn to enjoy it!
First let’s separate being ‘alone’ from being ‘lonely’. They may overlap, however they are very different. If you feel content when you are having alone time and look forward to it, this is simply being alone. If when you are on your own, you are filled with sadness and ache for company then you, my friend, feel lonely.
Why is being ‘alone’ seen as such a negative thing?! Ultimately all it means is that you are on your own but this could be such a productive and self-reflective time that leads to all positive things!
Ok lets dive into my top 5 tips to get more comfortable being alone.
Top 5 tips:
1) STOP comparing yourself to others.
Let’s face it, those people who appear to be doing lots of brilliant things, who look like they have an enviable social life are probably just very good at keeping up appearances. Get out of the negative habit of looking at other people’s lives and comparing yours with theirs.
2) BREAK free from social media.
Even if it’s only during the time you are alone or for an hour each evening. If you notice that scrolling through your news feeds are making you feel stressed or feel a strong case of FOMO then this is a huge indicator that you need to wean yourself off the gram!
3) TAKE YOURSELF out for a date.
If even just the thought of going out on your own fills you with anxiety it means you have room to improve your relationship with yourself. Are you are reading this tip and thinking, ‘there’s no way I’m going out for lunch on my own’? Start by going to a coffee shop once a week instead. This will feel more acceptable to you until you have mastered the art of being happy alone.
4) DO NOTHING for 5-10 minutes of your day.
Sounds ridiculous I know. Who tells anyone to ‘do nothing’ but by this I mean literally nothing. Stare out the window, sit in a dimly lit room, let your mind truly wander without any distractions. You need this time to think of brilliant ideas and it doesn’t happen when you are constantly distracted by something.
5) EMBRACE NATURE and go for a mindful walk.
If you have a dog that you have to walk anyway this will be easy to get into the habit of doing, but if not then take a walk around the block to start off and gradually build this up. It’s not just about walking, it’s about taking in your surroundings as you go. Use your senses- what can you smell, see and touch. Try to really be in the moment. This gets easier with practice.
If you are struggling to be on your own after a breakup, book a free 20 minute chat with me here.