Tag Archives: Heartbreak

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How to survive a breakup

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,relationship,self-care,self-help,stages we work through,Uncategorised Tags : 

How to survive a breakup. Its a BIG deal right. I’m sorry you’ve been hurt by a breakup. It can be so underestimated the level of hurt that a breakup can cause. But please believe me when I say- you will be okay again.

Here are my top 5 ways to help yourself during a breakup.

1. Cry it out. Don’t try to keep strong and bottle it up all the time. Take time out to sit with your feelings, allow them to be what they are and cry! The world CAN and WILL wait. Just remember at some point to pick yourself back up again.

2. When you keep remembering the good times, also remember the bad. Sounds negative but believe me- they weren’t perfect and you weren’t always happy with them. If you are struggling, ask a friend to help you think of things and write them down so you can revisit them when you are having a rose tinted glasses moment about your ex. Find out how to keep doing this here.

3. Say YES to plans and invitations to things. You need to try to remember how it feels to be independent and happy again. You are the only person you have to live with for the rest of your life- make it good! Are you struggling with the motivation to do this? Find out more on how to get started here.

4. Talk it out. This is one of the most important tips. Make sure you are finding time to talk about what has happened and how you are feeling. We can definitely help you with this one! Book your first telephone session with us here.

5. Give yourself time. You aren’t going to get over this overnight unfortunately. But be patient and kind with yourself. Ask for help and guidance to get started on feeling better.


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Results on google search for how to get better sleep.

How to get over your ex

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,relationship,self-care,self-help,stages we work through Tags : 

How to get over your ex. The very highly searched term in recent times. 2020 seemed to be THE year for breakups. Now we’re deep into 2021 and it’s definitely time to move forward with your life if a breakup is something you have been going through.

I figured since I help people every day to get over relationship breakups, I’d put together a helpful list of things to help you get over your ex.

Top 5 tips

1. Journaling really works. Write down all the things that are coming to mind about how you are feeling and the thoughts you are having. Putting those thoughts on paper are metaphorically taking them out of your mind for a while. It was probably starting to feel a little cluttered in there!

2. Balance out your positive thoughts of your ex with realistic ones. Come on. You know deep down they weren’t really a Prince with perfect everything. Dig deep- think about all the bad stuff too and all the things that used to drive you up the wall.

3. Think about what you have put off doing for yourself or what you have felt held back with. Did you make sacrifices and decisions based on your partner or your relationship? Time to take back your life and own your independence again! You used to be fine before them, remember?

4. Catch up with friends. Old and new. Socialise and say yes to almost everything you get invited to do. You need to be reminded that there is more to the world than your ex and this is the perfect way to be reminded of that.

5. Take time to feel what you feel. Sit with your feelings and make sure you are able to vent and talk about all of the feelings you are experiencing. Book your first free chat with us here.


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Getting over a breakup- let go and move on

Category:breakup help,heartbroken,relationship,self-help,Uncategorised Tags : 

Getting over a breakup-let go and move on. Relationships can have an impact on us long after they end. Something that was such a big part of your life is no longer there, how do you expect the mind to behave!!? Carrying around emotional pain from a relationship can prevent you from moving on. Here are some ways to let go and move on.

Top 5 things

1. Talk to someone. You will be going through some stages of emotions that you might not quite understand. You are essentially grieving the loss you have faced. Be sure to give yourself time and the support you need to recover from what has happened.

2. Embrace your freedom. Think about all the things you put off doing or stopped doing while you were in your relationship. Make plans for your own personal progress and focus on yourself. You will have gone from being a ‘we’ and an ‘us’ to being an ‘I’ and a ‘me’ again so this will feel like a challenge. Reach out to us for some guidance on this.

3. Stop romanticising the relationship and your ex. Chances are they weren’t as great as you are remembering them to be. Balance out those thoughts with thoughts of times when you weren’t happy or didn’t feel loved by them.

4. Sit with your feelings. Try not to bottle your emotions up. You need to sit with your feelings and allow them to be what they are. It’s no good avoiding what has happened. Face up to what you have experienced and begin to heal this way. We can help you with this.

5. Cut contact if you have no reasonable explanation for continuing communication. If you have children or shared a home, it may be necessary. But make contact the bare minimum and make communication only about those necessary things. if you keep that person close, it will prevent you from moving on because you will always keep a small piece of hope for getting back together.

If you need support after a breakup, your first telephone session is free. Book it here!


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How to get over a breakup

Category:breakup help,heartbroken Tags : 

How to get over a breakup, according to a relationship breakup expert.

1. Gain understanding of the processes happening inside your mind. Your brain functions differently during a breakup. You are effectively getting over an addiction because that’s what your ex became. You will become desperate and behave out of character. So, speak to someone who can explain what’s taking place in your mind.

2. Stop thinking you need ‘closure’. This is masking the desire to get back with your ex. You think by speaking to them once more you will figure outa way to fix things. Instead, work on accepting you just weren’t meant to be together. Speak to someone who can help you. Our breakup coach here offers a free 20 minute chat if you click here.

3. Unfriend them on social media. This includes any mutual friends you follow, if their posts are causing you to feel unhappy. or even if it’s just leading you to keep checking if there’s any sign of them on things. Do what you need to do to feel better. You can always reach out to people again once you get past the worst of it.

4. Recognise that your mind is reinforcing the positive moments and happy times you shared. Speak to someone and balance out those thoughts with realistic events that took place to counter balance the good ones. I can help you with this.

5. Try new things. When your friends tries to drag you out the house to go out for fresh air, GO! Force yourself to go out and do things because you need to boost your confidence back up. Try new things and go to new places with people. Break your usual routine and spend quality time with people you didn’t get round to spending time with when you were caught up in your relationship.

If you are going through a breakup, get in touch with us here today!


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carefree person how to stop taking things personally

Stop taking things personally! How to…….

Category:self-help,Uncategorised Tags : 

Stop taking things personally something that is easier said than done, right? It’s also something a lot of us have been told by someone at some point in our lives and if you are being honest, did you take it personally when this happened?

Okay so it’s important for your own wellbeing that you try your best to remain in your energy. Try not take things personally in life, because it can lead you to feel uncomfortable or unhappy.

My job is to make you feel happy and confident, so, I’m writing this post to offer my best tips to not taking things personally.

Top 5 tips:

1) accept that your beliefs are not the same as someone else’s. Your personal beliefs are what shape your interpretation of events that take place. You may believe it’s rude if a person doesn’t respond to your ‘good morning’ greeting in the lift.

Your belief leads you to:

perceive this as them being rude. Stepping away from your beliefs for a moment can help you to think more logically- maybe they don’t speak English. Maybe they didn’t hear you or maybe they have just had a bad experience with strangers in lifts! Try to think outside of your own ‘beliefs’ box.

2) work on worrying less about what people think of you. This takes time and sometimes my clients need guidance to master this. Once you do, it’s much easier to stop taking things personally. From the day we are born, we are conditioned to think we have to be accepted by others. The truth is – not everyone has to like you. You could be the juiciest peach in the fruit bowl and there will be someone out there who just doesn’t like peaches. Accept yourself, that way it’s easier not to take things personally in life.

3) maintain power over how you are feeling. By taking something someone else has said personally, you are effectively allowing them to be in control of how you are feeling.

Try to choose a different line of thought:

you can’t control what someone else says or does, however, you can control your response to it. Just think- if someone served you up some rotten fruit, would you eat it and allow it to have a negative effect on you? Or would you throw it away?! The same goes for comments that are sent your way. Will you listen to it and allow it to affect you negatively or will you ‘throw it away?’ Make a choice!

4) Be aware of the ‘spotlight effect’. We’ve all been there- someone says something. They are looking over at us. We take it personally and it feels like we are being judged or criticised. In actual fact, they probably haven’t even noticed you! The reality is, that look they gave you was nothing. That conversation they were having was not even about you! The spotlight effect is where we are so inside our own head, thus we are acutely aware of our own flaws and weaknesses. We feel that others may notice them too and more often than not, they don’t!

5) let go of the idea of social perfectionism. Not one person on the planet is perfect. We all make or have made mistakes.

When you believe that you have to be perfect, this can lead to:

a constant worry about how you come across to others. It’s ok to worry about what others think of you a little- being social creatures, we all do it! Try to practice letting go of things you don’t do perfectly and have some empathy for yourself. We are always harder on ourselves for things than we are on other people. You are likely judging yourself more than any one else is judging you!! Be kind to yourself too.

Book your free telephone session with our relationship breakup expert here!


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lonely after breakup

Stop feeling lonely after a breakup

Category:heartbroken,self-care,self-help,Uncategorised Tags : 

Stop feeling lonely after a breakup. Are you experiencing a crippling sense of loneliness since you became newly single? You are not alone in feeling alone!

Lots of women are opening up lately about feelings of loneliness. Opening up about feeling this way shows vulnerability and allows others to express their own feelings on the matter. Speaking about it is the first step to stop feeling lonely after a breakup.

These moments of feeling lonely and low will ultimately make you stronger. It will cause you to feel so uncomfortable that the only thing to do is grow from it.

Allow the loneliness you feel to force you out of your comfort zone to meet new people and try new things.

Here are some ideas;

1- get in touch with an old friend who you haven’t spoken to for a really long time.

2- find your passion … the things that sparks fire in your stomach

3- pick a new hobby and dive straight into it

4- make plans. Plan as many things as you can!

5- join a class. Get a friend to go with you if you are nervous.

6- remove toxic people from your life to make room for the good ones!

7- learn to be happy spending time on your own. (I will be posting an article on ways to train yourself to do this next week!)

8- feel lonely and accept it for what it is. That is: a feeling. Allow it to be just that and sit with it for a few minutes or as long as you need. Allow yourself to feel low but then pick yourself back up at some point soon and do something 1-7 off of this list!!!

When you can’t enjoy spending time on your own without feeling lonely it will cause you to stay in bad relationships with people who you lack positive connections with. This is because it gives you a temporary fix of comfort but is not good for you in the long run.

If YOU don’t enjoy spending time with YOU, then how can you expect someone else to want to? But also be prepared to be happy and comfortable on your own and allow positive relationships with people to enhance your life only. Know you will be fine with or without others, because you’ve already built a strong foundation of self love.

If you are feeling lonely after a breakup and need some help, book your free 20 minute chat with me here.


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How to deal with a breakup in quarantine

Category:heartbroken,relationship,Uncategorised Tags : 

How to deal with a breakup in quarantine. Breakups are hard in normal conditions and during a pandemic will be even more of a challenge. Here are 5 tips to help you if this is happening to you.

1) Communicate with people.

Activities that are usually available to us as a distraction aren’t as readily available anymore so meeting with friends or going out as we would have before may not be possible. Communicate with and reach out to family and friends wherever possible- ask for help.

2) Allow yourself to be sad.

Don’t think just because the pandemic is happening and everyone is having issues and problems surrounding it that you can’t feel sad and express that. Be kind to yourself as you would be to a friend.

3) Take up a new hobby.

One positive thing the pandemic has probably given us is more time. Time to do something new that makes you feel good. Replace the time you spent with your ex with something new for yourself.

4) Social distance yourself from your ex!

Block them on everything and get rid of everything that is a trigger for you hurting. This can be a challenge if you are still living together but make it your priority to be away from them and focus on yourself.

5) Engage in distractions.

If you can’t meet friends in person, have a long telephone conversation or dinner over zoom! Treat yourself to some new make up or clothes and meet new people (this is still possible in a virtual way!), join an online fitness class or just focus on something for your own health and wellness.

Those are my top 5 tips for how to deal with a breakup in quarantine. If you need help getting over your ex, book a free 20 minute chat with me here.


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Why am I not getting over my ex?

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Why am I not getting over my ex? The question you ask yourself because everything seems so hard and you just can’t work out how to move on. Here are 5 major reasons why you are stuck and unable to move on from your ex.

1-You are lonely.

You are used to being with that person and talking to them, spending time with them. Maybe you had them around whenever you need them. You might have cut off friends or spent less time with friends during the relationship. Now feel like you are lonely. The best way to combat this is to make time for your friends and family again. Go out and do what makes you feel good and be surrounded by others.

2-You are still connected on social media or through friends.

You can see what they are getting up to and what they are posting about throughout the day. This is reminding you of them and is holding you back from getting over them. Don’t worry about burning bridges or looking like the bad guy, look after yourself first.

3- You lost confidence during the relationship.

If you started to feel unappreciated or unacknowledged by your partner while you were with them then it is likely that you blamed yourself. Maybe you lost some confidence. This is not a reflection on you and use this time to build yourself back up.

4- You are not accepting all the negative things and are only focusing on the good times you had.

This is illogical and it is vital that you work to recognise the reasons why they are not right for you.

5- You are grieving the relationship potential.

You are sad about all the things you could have been instead of acknowledging all the things that the relationship actually was!

If you need help getting over your ex, request your free 20 minute chat with me here to get started on your journey to happiness.


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an interview with shanice of breakup-help

An interview with Shanice of Breakup-Help

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An interview with Shanice of Breakup-Help! Let’s begin. Who or what has shaped who you are?

I have always had a very strong thirst to prove myself. I want to learn about anything and everything. As a child, I would always get frustrated at myself if I couldn’t achieve something or get something right the first time. I’ve always been extremely determinedowever also very introverted. Being the girl who usually knew the answer to the question in class but was too shy to raise my hand and say so!

Today I have become incredibly self-aware, compassionate and reflective in everything I do. My experiences both during my childhood and adult life have shaped the person I am today. This includes my own personal relationships with others. I believe the more I learn to know who I am as a person the more empowered I continue to feel. This is what shapes me as a person.

Why are you passionate about what you do?

What I do requires a high level of emotional intelligence and I have always considered myself an ‘empath’ in so many words. As a woman I believe that it is important to be able to grow through (not ‘go through’) a breakup. This way you can emerge happier and more in control of your future and your life. It is my belief that all women should have a chance to speak openly about how they are feeling and have somebody respond with genuine understanding, knowledge and empathy without making them feel uncomfortable and this is what I am able to do. I have the knowledge and tools to really help women come out of the other side of a breakup.

What motivates you?

Making a true difference in the lives of the people I work with is what motivates me. I strive for excellence in what I do. I look forward to all the positive outcomes and amazing transformations. It’s great to see that I have helped to make that happen.

What are your greatest strengths?

I’m a natural listener and empath therefore, always try to bring positivity to everyone and everything around me. My aim is to make everything in my life beautiful. It is so rewarding to me to dig deep and uncover issues that I can help find solutions to. I enjoy the challenge and I also pride myself on being open-minded and non-judgemental. I’d like to share with others what I know works in order to enrich other people’s lives.

The final question for an interview with Shanice at breakup-help- What is the best piece of advice you’ve had?

There is no such thing as a hopeless situation in my opinion. Every single circumstance in your life can change. Everything is ‘figure-out-able’.

If you are or somebody you know is struggling through a breakup, I offer a helpful and free 20 minute chat to get started on guiding you to a happier you. Book your session now.

If you found this article interesting, head over to our interview with Joy Milani at ‘Girl, just startup’ to read more about the owner and founder of breakup-help here


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Getting Over Someone – 5 Quick Tips.

Category:heartbroken Tags : 

Getting over someone – knowing how to do this can be a struggle especially without the right guidance and support. You may be feeling abandoned, lonely, stuck, emotional and like it is the end of the world and it may be starting to affect your life in a negative way.

We all know how upsetting and difficult it can be getting over someone and it is important that you take action to help yourself come out of the other side as effectively as possible.

If you are struggling to get over your ex and need some help to cope with a breakup, here are some quick tips that I recommend you remind yourself of during the process:

5 Quick tips:

1. Talk about it. Vent. This will facilitate your healing big time! Don’t underestimate the value of this. This is what is so important about what breakup-help does! Book your first free chat with us here today.

2. Find an emotional release. This will encourage new perspectives. An example could be to start going to the gym! Or join a boxing club.

3. Find yourself again. It is critical to regain a strong self-concept. Do all the things you put off doing or forgot you wanted to do before the big relationship happened.

4.Set goals for yourself, however small. Always have things you are aiming for.

5. Remind yourself of the bad and awful not just the good things about your ex. Balance our those irrational thoughts. See past the rose-tinted spectacles!

Getting over someone