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How to breakup with someone

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How to breakup with someone gracefully…it’s not an easy thing to do. Is it even possible? Well there are some things to know that may make it a little less painful not only in the moment you do the deed but also during the aftermath.

Breakups are unique. This means that one rule for one person may not work for another. My professional advice to my clients will always be based on the context of their own personal relationship and breakup. There are no simple answers but there are some important factors to always consider. Here is my top 5 list of things:

1- DO try to do it in person if you can. Except for unusual circumstances (whereby your ex is obsessive and has hassled you non-stop therefore you feel you can only do it via text and not in person or for example they’ve done something unforgivable…….). If you have respect for them then it’s best to try to have the conversation in person.

2- DO cut contact with them after the breakup. This is important but takes a lot of courage to do. This helps promote faster emotional recovery from the breakup. This is a reasonable and effective thing to do so DO put yourself first by taking this step.

3- DO both take time to recognise that this breakup happened for a reason. That person is not your person. You were not compatible otherwise you’d still be together. Sounds harsh but the sooner you accept this, the sooner you can find happiness again.

4- DO NOT try to make the other person feel better. Once you have the dreaded breakup conversation and the relationship is severed, it is not your responsibility to help that person or to support them emotionally. This can majorly backfire as it will make them feel resentful. They may even try to make you feel guilty for leaving and try to get as much out of you as possible. Oh and do not have sex with them. Ever again. Stop!

5- DO talk to someone (for example breakup-help.com). Or recommend that they talk to someone (for example breakup-help.com). You will often observe your own relationships poorly and it may not be obvious to you how the breakup has affected you.

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