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sad man breakup

What should you do when a relationship ends? Romantic comedy movies would have us believe it is a piece of cake. Get some friends round, hang out, eat some ice-cream and BAM you’ve recovered. If you are currently going through a breakup, you will be feeling the reality that is it feels much worse. You feel distraught, lonely and like you will never be happy again. This isn’t accurate and there are some things you can do to help yourself recover from this.

Rebuild your self-esteem. If you have been broken up with, this will feel especially challenging as you will be suffering the effects of abandonment. You will probably be blaming yourself and picking apart your appearance and personality. Just because thy left you, it doesn’t mean you deserve to be left by people. You cannot be help responsible for their choices. You are still someone who can add value to the world and you may need reminding of the great qualities you have.

Do more with friends. Your friendships may have taken a backseat while you were in your relationship. You may have prioritised your partner and doing things with them more. It is time to apologise to those friends you haven’t seen for a while and make the effort to reconnect. Plan things with them, holidays, day trips, tickets to events. You have no excuse not to make the effort now! Make the most of your social circle and allow them to distract you from those thoughts.

Be real with yourself about what the relationship was. This is about removing those rose tinted glasses because no, your ex wasn’t the most amazing person it the world and they did not do everything perfectly. You have put them up on a pedestal and are forgetting the things that made you feel unhappy. There are some bad memories in there someone, find them! Balance this with the positive ones because trust me, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.

Talk to a professional. It is so cathartic to talk it out. We can help guide you through the breakup process and really support you through the stages. It can feel a little daunting to talk to someone but once you start, believe me you will wonder why you waited so long! We offer a FREE telephone session to get started. Book yours here.