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What to do after a breakup and how to cope. When we are in a relationship we have all the best intentions for what is to come but sometimes it’s just not working out. Saying goodbye can be a painful but necessary experience as human beings especially if they are breakup up with you. Here are some tips to help you after a breakup.

Try the no-contact rule. It may be the last thing you want to do because staying contacting them feel natural and instinctive and gives you an illusion of the connection you had. Remove them from your social media, remove access by reducing communication methods and focus on you instead. Removing opportunities to reach out to them in those moments of weakness will help you focus on putting the attention back on you and doing the inner work needed to rebuild yourself. Of course, if you share children or are working through shared bills and living situations this can be different. In this case you need to minimise interactions and make it just about that particular issue.

Be thoughtful about the breakup and the relationship. Chances are you are blaming yourself, thinking about what ifs and whether you should have done something differently. You are perhaps putting your ex on a pedestal that they just don’t belong on. Try to be balanced and fair to yourself when thinking about the relationship, you aren’t the evil bad guy and they are certainly not perfect.

Focus on yourself. What did you enjoy doing before the relationship? What did you used to spend time on and who with? Reconnect with friends and family, say yes to the class your friend is inviting you to. Book that weekend away, do the things that make you remember who you are.

Talk to a professional. At breakup-help we offer a free telephone session to get started with helping you through the breakup journey. We get you from denial over the end to acceptance that it is over and happiness without your ex. Book your free telephone session here.